aibolition: (thirty nine)
aibolition ([personal profile] aibolition) wrote in [personal profile] devoutish 2019-02-16 06:17 pm (UTC)

(i can't believe he's telling this to alfie out of everyone, oh boy)

Alright. You're an honest man. That's fine. I can be honest too.

I don't mean I can't take it because I'm some pathetic fool. I mean I literally can't. My soul is broken. Not in a boo-hoo way. In the way that there's an actual hole in me. It screws with my head. I am pretty much terminally an asshole because anything else makes it feel like I'm dying and worse. Even Mom knows about it. There are things I can't say and that I can't understand even if it's a simple frigin concept. Not unless I put in some stupid amount of effort in shredding myself up. Like some dumb fairytale curse or something.

But I'm not a coward. If I was afraid I wouldn't have let Emily near me.

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