aibolition: (seventy nine)
aibolition ([personal profile] aibolition) wrote in [personal profile] devoutish 2019-02-24 02:34 pm (UTC)

Other beings like me go nuts. Every time. They lose it and they kill everyone they care about. I only know one who kind of turned out okay in the end but she probably went crazy at first too. I'm already pushing this past where it can go.

I can tell Emily mattered because her being gone sucks. Not knowing what to do about this sucks. I can tell I gave a crap about my old asshole friends and Dad because I'm pissed at what they've done. I can tell who still matters to me because I've given everything for that bastard and I'd do it again for Mom.

So yeah, I can work it out. I'm already trying anyway. But I can't think of a reason why. And I can't just make myself perfectly fine just like that. There isn't a man alive or dead who can do what I'm doing. Can't I just let myself be kind of a jerk? It took me so long to figure all this out. I want to be able to breathe sometimes.

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