It's difficult to talk about. Even with you. Because I've told myself, right - "Alfie, you are not gonna be the sort of man who swans about sighing over things that can't be helped; shouldn't be helped". I've told myself that this--
[He makes a back-and-forth gesture between the two of them.]
no subject
[He makes a back-and-forth gesture between the two of them.]
-- wasn't gonna happen at all.