IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

Comments

[bywolves]

[ Royce still refuses to look at him - it's probably because he's only just barely holding back tears, which he hates. He hates that this affects him so badly. But he goes where Alfie tugs him. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie sits next to him, close enough to lean.]

What was it I told you once? I don't judge you for having a voice that shakes sometimes?

[bywolves]

I know. [ I do not care if your voice shakes. He keeps looking away. ] I want to be past this. But I'm just now - feeling the weight of everything, and I can't --

[ Pause. Slow, steadying breath. ]

[devoutish]

I know, I know.

[He leans harder.]

Hasn't been long, has it.

[bywolves]

No. [ Royce sags a bit against Alfie. ] Only a few weeks. I keep - dreaming about killing her.

[devoutish]

[It's been longer than that - about two months, Alfie's pretty sure - but he doesn't correct him. When someone you love dies, eight weeks is just as too soon as three is.]

How often?

[bywolves]

Often. [ Royce mutters. ] Less, with the apathy. But that's coming back less and less. The poisoning.

[devoutish]

Mm. If it's a bad one and I don't wake up on my own, you wake me up, all right?

[bywolves]

You need sleep.

[devoutish]

I'll get enough sleep.

[bywolves]

[ He rests his head against Alfie's shoulder, turning his face to hide it. ]

I can handle it, Solomons.

[devoutish]

Yeah, sure. Didn't think you couldn't.

[He pillows his cheek against Royce's hair.]

All the same, though, eh?

[bywolves]

[ He's been trying really, really hard, this entire time, to stay dry-eyed. This used to be easier - he'd just let the numbness curl up in him and stay there. But now, it's - different. Now, everything at once wells up in him and he just lets out a shivery, sad noise.

When he closes his eyes he just replays it in his head. Remembers how it feels to run the knife along her neck. It wasn't her, but it was. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie lifts his arm and settles it around his shoulders, pulling him closer if he'll let him.]

[bywolves]

[ He lets himself be pulled closer, with a little hitch of his breath. ]

I was right, you know. [ Royce mutters, his voice a bit wet and strained. ]

[devoutish]

About what?

[His voice is soft enough that, if there where anyone else in the room, they wouldn't be able to hear it.]

[bywolves]

The apathy was useful. [ Royce murmurs, dragging in a tearful, shuddery breath. ] I don't - I don't think I could've made it, feeling like this.

[devoutish]

You would have.

[Alfie had, and he doesn't believe that Royce is any less emotionally strong and stable than he is.]

You will.

[bywolves]

[ He's not sure. But - Alfie's support helps. As always. Royce doesn't sob, or make any noise, but he sort of just crumples a bit and lets himself cry, shoulders trembling. Just for a while. Just because he needs it out of his system. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie doesn't say anything - no comforting nonsense-murmuring because Royce isn't a child, and no it's all right because it absolutely fucking isn't. He just tucks him close and holds him in a one-armed hug. By the time Royce's tears are drying up, he'll be starting to doze off a little.]

[bywolves]

[ By the time Royce is finished, Royce is starting to doze off. He forces himself up, though. Sits up slowly, rubbing his face with one hand. ]

Come on. [ Royce murmurs quietly. He sounds raw and exhausted instead of flat, which - is an improvement, at least. ] Bed. Don't sleep on the couch.

[devoutish]

Yeah.

[Alfie yawns into Royce's ear and doesn't... really move, at all.]

[bywolves]

[ Alfie, please. Royce sighs a bit, and untangles himself from Alfie.

He could be stubborn, or he could just - be right back. Give him a minute, and he'll bring back a few blankets and a pillow or two to the couch, dumping them all on top of Alfie before settling back down on the couch. ]

Your back is going to hurt tomorrow. [ Royce mutters, resting his head against Alfie's shoulder. ]

[devoutish]

It nearly is tomorrow.

[He drapes a loose arm over Royce.]

This couch is still more comfortable than anything in Norfinbury.

[bywolves]

Mm. [ Royce sighs a little. ] Just want you to have the least amount of pain possible.