devoutish | IC contact for wethelost

[His smile widens even more at that.]

And he's good at it. Up in his fucking trees. Now, the first time I met him--

[He hesitates here, because that's more complicated to pinpoint than one might imagine. They'd met on the network first, and in a dream second, and then--]

Yeah, the first time I met him in person, it was inside a building. We ended up in the same spot for the night, and he wasn't very happy about it.

[ The hesitation is noted with a curious tilt of his head. Given the recent discussions about the Norfinbury memories and related confusion, he's sort of wondering about the integrity of Alfie's memory now. Hopefully needlessly. ]

Because he didn't want to be around other people? [ It's strange to think Royce might have ever not wanted to be near Alfie, considering how inseparable they are now. (Outside of space exploration, anyway.) ]

Exactly that. And on top of it, I'd learned a bit about him against his will, from a sort of--

[He waves a hand vaguely. There's no real technical term for this that he's aware of.]

You know, a dream-sharing thing; I dunno if you've had experience with those.

I haven't. [ And he'd missed the unveiling of the Remember Tree. The closest approximation he can think of is the ability of androids from his homeworld to interface and share information and memories that way. ] Like... lucid dreaming, or literally entering each other's dreams?

[ That certainly has the potential to be horrifying in any number of ways. ]

The second. What's lucid dreaming?

Being aware that you're dreaming. I've read that it's possible to gain some control over one's dreams this way. Did you have control like that in the shared dream?

No more than usual, no.

It's hard to imagine a time when he wouldn't have wanted to be near you. [ It's said lightly. Not everything that happened in Norfinbury was bad. ] That seems to be a common trait among the people from Norfinbury. The closeness.

[ And it's partially why K's been surprised by Alfie and Royce deciding to befriend him; some other Norfinbury survivors have seemed more closed off in ways that make him cautious. ]

Sure. Hardship and fear breed closeness - I saw it fighting in the war at home, as well. Has Royce told you about that, that I was in a war?

He hasn't mentioned it. [ There's a pause as he debates whether or not it's appropriate to ask about it. The only other veterans he's known have been other androids — forced to fight and die in place of humans. Well, and Bucky and Watson, but he knows barely anything about their experiences. ] To endure that and then Norfinbury... it must have been hard. You've really gone through the wringer.

Well, I'm no wilting flower; I can handle it.

[He doesn't say it to diminish his own experiences, or the experiences of people who have gone through similar things - he just doesn't like feeling like he's being pitied.]

[ He can't help but be grimly amused by that. ]

You're the last person I'd consider a wilting flower. [ But point made. Alfie isn't inclined to accept help or sympathy, it appears, or at least not from him. ] And I hope you know my offers of help aren't because I think you're incapable of handling it.

Mmm.

[He nods, accepting that. He doesn't disbelieve K, but--]

Men on my world, we take pride in handling things. We rely on others in all sorts of ways, right; no one is completely independent. But relying on others emotionally - we don't do that, generally, unless we're very, very close.

[ That definitely helps him make sense of Alfie's attitude, at least. ]

So it would be better if I stopped offering? [ He surmises.

Mostly he'd been offering physical help before — like with chores, or whatever manual labour Alfie or Royce might need — but he gets it, and still doesn't take it personally when he's turned down. Maybe his good intentions have been an irritant rather than helpful. ]

You can offer all you like; it doesn't offend me. Just don't take offense if it's not needed, eh?

I know. And I won't. But if anything ever changes. [ He raises his eyebrows as he tilts his head. The offer's good until it's ever rescinded, in other words. Who knows, there may come a day when the help will be needed. ]

[Alfie gives him a look - one that plays at being stern, but in an amused, fond sort of way.]

Imagine if you and John Watson were to team up. You'd be fucking unstoppable, mate.

[ Well it's good to know an actual doctor's maybe been after Alfie, then, regardless of K's own reservations when it comes to the doctors of the Meadous. ]

That sounds like a suggestion. [ Thanks for the idea, buddy. ] I know he hasn't made a secret of how he feels about you and Royce wishing for those memories. [ He pauses with a frown. ] Noticed him discussing it on the board.

[Alfie snorts, shaking his head.]

That fucking board. I don't see why anyone looks to it as a place for proper discussion. He doesn't like our choice, no, but it wasn't his choice, was it.

[ It isn't Watson's disapproval that rubbed K the wrong way. ]

Discussing others' private matters on a public board. [ And the fact it clearly upset Royce, judging by his replies. ] I'd thought a doctor would know better. It doesn't bother you?

It does bother me. But it all ties in together, doesn't it. Thinking he's got a right to go on about his opinions on something that's got nothing to do with him, acting as if the board isn't something that anyone can stumble across--

[ He nods in understanding. ] It bothered Royce too. You're both technically his patients, aren't you? [ Since the entire Meadous population probably count as Dr. Watson's patients — and it doesn't seem unreasonable to assume he's likely treated the Norfinbury ones before. ] That's why I was surprised to see it.

I don't consider myself to be; not at the moment. I have been in the past, though, and Royce has as well. Truthfully, the bit about him being a doctor doesn't make it bother me any more or less.

IC contact for wethelost

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whoops ignore that misclicked journal subscription

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