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[devoutish]

Yeah?

[That's it, that's all you get.]

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[jumpthegun]

Does it matter? All three of them are together now. [And that's the bigger problem, as far as John's concerned.]

[devoutish]

It matters. Yeah. Find out if you can.

[jumpthegun]

[Why does he have to do it?]

Are you worried the Joker's been doing something to her? I think he would've mentioned.

[devoutish]

Watson, just tell me what you find out, eh? About all of this. They've got to have a better plan than knocking the Joker about.

[Like killing him, for instance. Why can't they just do that?]

cw: discussion of mental illness and abuse

[jumpthegun]

[There's an irritated huff before John goes quiet. He's not your errand boy to order around, Alfie.]

I'm asking. And I'd rather Clint just get Harley away from him than worry about murder. She's worried about the Joker, apparently. She might attack Clint if he tries to kill the Joker. She's not mentally stable, Alfie. The Joker has a hold on her that's not going away any time soon, even if she has 'left' him. That's not how relationships like their work.

[devoutish]

Why are you so concerned about her, then? She's made her choice.

[jumpthegun]

Because that's not... Alfie, it's not a choice. She's sick. And the Joker's preying on that. I'm concerned because she needs to be protected from herself as much as him. He'll just keep using her and twisting her if he's allowed to keep hold.

[devoutish]

Sick in the head, you mean. That's what you're saying?

[jumpthegun]

Sick in the head is sick, but yes. The Joker abuses her and she's... people like that sometimes get trapped in a cycle. You must have seen it. Men who abuse their wives, but those same wives defending them when they shouldn't, when it's hurting them to. It's not just them being fickle. Abusers know how to mess with people's heads. The Joker's done that with Harley from everything I've seen.

[devoutish]

Sure I see it. Yeah. They do it because they're in love; because they're in denial. They want to make the best of things, and they they think the best of their men because of it.

It's very sad, but none of us are in a place to solve a woman's relationship problems, least of all you.

[jumpthegun]

[Okay, they'll get back to the important part of this soon, but first...]

What d'you mean least of all me? I'm married, not romantically dead.

[He's assuming this is something to do with him being married.]

[devoutish]

What does you being married have to do with anything?

[jumpthegun]

We're talking about relationships. I think I have an idea how those are meant to go because I'm married is what I'm saying.

[In theory. Maybe he and Mary aren't always the best at it all...]

Why am I the least qualified in your mind to help Harley? That's what I'm asking.

[devoutish]

It's not a matter of being unqualified. You're not in a place to. You try to solve all the problems in the city, and you spread yourself too thin.

[jumpthegun]

[John scoffs, but that's less insulting than he thought.]

I know how far I can spread myself, thanks. And Clint said Harley was with him first.

[devoutish]

How far you can spread yourself and how far you think you ought to be able to spread yourself are different things.

[jumpthegun]

Do you want me to ask Clint anything else?

[He's done with this topic, Alfie.]

[devoutish]

John. This is out of concern for you, you understand?

[jumpthegun]

[Or apparently not. It's harder to be dismissive when Alfie says things like that.]

I know. I just... Mary and Sherlock are already coddling me. [As much as Sherlock can be said to coddle.] I don't need more people acting like I'm a bloody chipped piece of china that's liable to crack.

[devoutish]

I'm treating you like a fucking mortal man. This isn't coddling; fuck off.

[jumpthegun]

[Any amount of care beyond the bare minimum is coddling when directed at him.

John bristles, but doesn't immediately respond, letting that immediate snappishness pass. He knows His voice is tight when he responds.]

Sorry.

[Years on, years in, even with Mary there, and it still feels strange and uncomfortable to have people wanting to look after him in any capacity. Mrs. Hudson had been different, motherly to everyone, not just him. That had made it all right, and even she'd gotten to be too much for him at times.]

Thanks.

[His tone is fairly grudging, but he says it.]

[devoutish]

Mm.

[Alfie goes quiet for a few moments - maybe even long enough to make Watson think he's done talking, even though he hasn't ended the feed.]

No. There's nothing else I want you to ask Clint; no.

[jumpthegun]

Right. Fine. Good. [He should probably try for words with more than one or two syllables. John clears his throat.] I'll talk to you later, Alfie. Clint said he'd give you a call later, as well. Text. He's texting because of the Joker, you know?

[devoutish]

Yeah, I know.

Do you need to hang up, or can you stay on for a bit?

[jumpthegun]

I can stay for a bit... something else on your mind?