IC contact for maskormenace

[devoutish]

You've reached Alfie Solomons. Leave your name and state your business.

Alfie can be reached via the imPort network, or via a home phone and answering machine. He does have a cell phone, but it's not publicly available.

Comments

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[h2no]

idea for podcast: is the entity in the porter actually sod?
you know the person behind sod's law

hey there's a bunch of weird shit happening and i got stabbed again
you wanna get shitfaced?

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[devoutish]

i would like to be in the room while you get shitfaced & explain sod's law to me.

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[h2no]

have you seen that drunk history show? where people get twatted and try to explain historical events

that sounds like a fun evening
though i'd imagine i'd sound already off my head if i tried to talk about the delta stream dragon from back home

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[devoutish]

i'll give you a spot on my podcast to do just that.

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[h2no]

it's a done deal
i'm almost a regular at this point

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[devoutish]

and you're very popular. will you come to mine to get shitfaced?

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[h2no]

it's my curse. eternal popularity.
sure, why not
haven't been there for a while

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[devoutish]

you can meet the dogs.

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[h2no]

YOU HAVE DOGS/?????/?

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[devoutish]

2 dogs. Normal dogs, none of this pokeymon business.

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[h2no]

ALL DOGS ARE GOOD DOGS
IM GETTING THEM TREATS

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[devoutish]

Bring a lot, then. They're big.

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[h2no]

I,M ON MY WAY RIGHT NOW
WHAT BREED!!

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[devoutish]

They may be mutts. They've got floppy ears. One of them is red and the other is tan.

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[h2no]

i love them....

20 mins. getting bottles for us and snacks for them.

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[devoutish]

Not too many bottles. I won't be drinking much.

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[h2no]

okay okay
fave poison?

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[devoutish]

Whiskey.

>action

[h2no]

yes sir

[he arrives a short while later, knocking lightly on the door. he has with him two bottles - both of the same nice brand of whiskey, and a bag full of dog treats. probably spent more on the treats. definitely did, despite the quality brand of the alcohol.]

>action

[devoutish]

[He'll be greeted by the sound of barking - just from one dog, but there are clearly two in there, if the amount of scuffling is any indication.]

That'll be Archie--

[He'll hear Alfie mutter to himself. He peers through the peephole just to make sure, and then opens the door. Two dogs flank him, both of whom seem very interested in this visitor.]

Fucking hell, is that big bag for them?

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[h2no]

There was a deal on, [he lies, holding the bottles out for alfie.] They're all dried stuff, so this'll do you probably for the rest of your life.

>action

[devoutish]

Thanks, mate.

[The dogs, torn between investigating the new person and investigating what he's brought, alternate between sniffing the bottom of the bag and sniffing Archie's legs. Alfie reaches over their heads to grab both bag and bottles, moving to take them both into the kitchen.]

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[h2no]

[now with one hand free, archie crouches down to lavish love over the dogs. he puts the bag on the floor to get his other free and laughs brightly as they both stick their heads into it. archie just rubs both their backs.]

You can have both, if you want. We'll see what happens.

>action

[devoutish]

That's Digby and Bark.

[Alfie calls back from the kitchen.]

An imPort man's wife disappeared through the Porter, and in his grief, he began finding new homes for their dogs and cats and other things. Funny thing - he disappeared himself not long after.

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[h2no]

[he winces at the port out mention.]

'Least they're together, I guess. Crazy how imPorts kind of gather pets, right? My-- friend left behind his cat. I'd hate to think what would happen if we both fucked off.