IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

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[devoutish]

Do you want me to?

[They haven't done it yet, and haven't even really talked about it, but that option is there for them now, thanks to their recent wish to Zephyr.]

[bywolves]

[ He takes a deep breath, and then, uncertain: ] Yes, but I'm nervous.

[devoutish]

[As if he could not be enjoying himself right now. It's harder from the bottom, but he gives her an extra-vigorous thrust up.]

[devoutish]

About?

[bywolves]

Being - being that close.

[furgood]

Mn! [She clings tighter to his hips and closes her eyes. She's not sure how long she can keep up a faster pace but she's damn sure trying.
Her nails dig into his hips a little, hopefully he doesn't mind ]

[devoutish]

Mm.

I suppose it wouldn't help if I went first, then.

[bywolves]

[ He hesitates. ]

You mean you let me feel what you're feeling first?

[devoutish]

Yeah.

[But it'd still be the same level of closeness, even if the focus would be different.]

[bywolves]

[ Yeah, but - there's a little bit of distance, there. He shifts slightly, and then shakes his head. ]

If I feel what you're feeling first, you won't be able to feel - this. [ He puts a hand on his chest, rubbing at his sternum a little. ] It'll throw everything off. I just have to do it.

[devoutish]

You don't have to.

[Alfie squeezes his shoulder.]

You can, and I will gladly accept it, mate, but you do not have to. Eh?

[bywolves]

[ He nods, and then glances at Alfie. ]

I want to. It just makes me nervous to - to offer so much up. It's intense. And I doubt you'll think differently of me. I know that logically. It's just very... big.

I don't want you to think I'm forcing myself.

[devoutish]

If you promise me that you're not, then I'll trust you.

[bywolves]

I promise. [ It's genuine. Alfie's known him long enough to know. ]

[devoutish]

Okay.

[He sets his sketchbook aside, leaning his shoulder into Royce's.]

You wanna talk about it more first?

[bywolves]

[ He thinks about it for a moment, and then reaches to take Alfie's hand. ]

Do you?

[devoutish]

I don't know the details of what's going on in your head right now, mate.

[He curls his fingers around Royce's.]

I wouldn't know where to start.

[bywolves]

That's why I think this is important to do. [ Royce says, resting his head on Alfie's shoulder, now. ] I don't know where to start, either. But if you feel what I do, we can figure it out.

[devoutish]

All right.

[A beat.]

Yeah, all right. Go on, then.

[bywolves]

[ Royce holds Alfie's hand tightly, and opens himself up to letting Alfie feel how Royce feels.

There's a lot, at once. He's relaxed, because he's sitting with Alfie, because it's a relief to be here, but he's nervous, too. The nerves curl around and cover most of his emotion, sparking here and there. But most of all, it's... heaviness. It's a sad, weighty feeling, like a rock at the bottom of his stomach. He's not on the verge of crying, but the sensation, the dread and fright and anxiety all balled up into a tiny, tight ball that feels ready to explode at any second - it's stuck, between his lungs and up into his throat. It burns and it makes him feel sick, if he focuses on it. It's longing and wanting, a need for a solution he can't find. Loss.

It's intense. In fact, it might be startling to Alfie, considering how calm Royce is on the outside. It'd make a man less accustomed to horror and trauma scream. ]

[devoutish]

[It doesn't make Alfie scream, but it does make him shiver. He braces himself against the chair with his free hand and squeezes Royce's fingers tightly with the other, hoping that it comes across more as trying to give support than trying to take it.]

Okay.

[He whispers, trying to keep his breathing steady.]

Okay.

[bywolves]

[ Royce closes his eyes. ]

Yeah. [ He's silent, just letting Alfie feel it. The longer the silence goes, the more his nerves build, the more frightened he feels. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie shivers again, then lets go of Royce's hand so that he can wrap his arms around him, holding on tightly.]

I feel your fear, mate, but I don't know what you're scared of. And the sadness, the dread--

[He can make some guesses, even educated ones, but he'd rather hear it - or feel it - from Royce.]

[bywolves]

I don't know what I'm scared of either. [ Royce admits, a bit helpless. ] And - and the rest of it, I.

It's been building since before Renart and I got drunk. It keeps getting worse as time goes.

[devoutish]

Is it of time?

[Alfie says gently, prodding.]

Of being alone?