IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

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[devoutish]

[Say what. The look of surprise on his face is probably obvious.]

You wished your hearing back?

[furgood]

[She looks a little flustered but she nods and shifts so she's not quite looking at him] I've been thinking about it for a while. I felt guilty for a long time but I finally just decided to do something for me.

[devoutish]

And why would you feel guilty?

[furgood]

That's complicated... I don't mind telling you but it's not something nice.

[devoutish]

[He nods in acknowledgement, indicating that she can go on.]

[furgood]

I... Sorry I've never told anyone. Well. I told someone but they sort of assumed wrong so I wanted to set the record straight.

I was deafened when I was 13. By the father off my friend from the Capitol. To punish him. [She fidgets] I-- should have decided what I wanted to say before I started. But I was beaten until-- my left arm still isn't as strong.

He ended up muting himself sort of. As his own sacrifice. For me I guess? It's-- this is so dramatic. [She laughs awkwardly and dives her hair back with both hands ] I feel guilty because-- Well, obviously.

[devoutish]

[Alfie's quiet as she tells the story, his face mostly impassive, though if she's watching she might notice it darken a little, his eyes narrowing and his lips tightening.]

You felt like it was your fault that your friend did what he did.

[furgood]

I know it was. In the Capitol, he-- There was a thing that happened, a mix between the dreaming and the memory tree, where I saw what happened. I know he did because of me.

[devoutish]

[Alfie hmphs.]

You don't think it was the fault of a man who deafened a little girl?

[furgood]

[She deflates a little ] Of course, I've told him it wasn't his fault but he-- he does that. Did that. Takes blame for things.

[She breathes out] I know logically...But.

[devoutish]

Yeah. And you're doing the same, now.

[furgood]

Is it really taking blame if someone basically told you it was for you? [ She looks away ] I'm trying not to. That's why... And is more complicated than that. Than all that...

I don't know why I told you. It's not something you should have to deal with.

[devoutish]

You didn't hold his hand to the fire and force him, did you.

[Reaching back to the stove, he switches off the burner - he'll finish making the tea later - and makes his way over to her in the living room. If she's sitting somewhere, he'll sit down next to her.]

[furgood]

[ She shakes her head, still not even looking at him even when he's this close. She gestures out with both hands emphatically] I didn't even know he'd done it until I went to the Capitol-- and I didn't know he did it for me, to punish himself, for months. He never came back to Four and-- his father hurt me because he spoke out about our mutual friend being beaten.

[devoutish]

Then, my dear--

[He holds out his hand, but doesn't take hers; she can make that choice, or not.]

-- you truly bear no blame at all in this, do you.

[furgood]

[She looks up silently and reaches out. She gives his hands a squeeze. There's quiet for a moment before she tilts her head and smiles a little uncertaintly ]

See, I knew I was okay telling you for a reason.

[devoutish]

[He squeezes her hand back.]

Yeah, well, I don't much like thirteen-year-old girls being tortured and maimed, do I.

[furgood]

I think we'd have bigger problems if you did. [She brushes at her eyes with her free hand and takes a deep breath ] But... really. I knew you wouldn't think less of me. Or--or use it against me or something. I don't know. People aren't always kind about things.

[devoutish]

I'd have words with that father of your friend, if I could.

[furgood]

[She threads her fingers through his to better hold on and squeezes him a little tighter, maybe a little disapprovingly, but that doesn't quite match up with her next words. ]

I'd be tempted to let you at him in a memory. But I've relived that moment three separate times. You'll forgive me if I don't feel up to it again.

[devoutish]

You've lived through it here?

[furgood]

No. No it was there. There was a--ah... dreaming event. It was meant for fun at first but the dreams morphed and I ended up reliving it. With current people stepping in. A friend, Terezi. A troll woman I didn't know. And he ended up in as well. He got there earlier than he did in fall life. I think. I don't remember him finding me in real life. I was passed out.

[devoutish]

Mm. Good that Zephyr gives us a choice in these matters, here in the Meadous.

[furgood]

Really it is. I was a little scared to sleep after that. [Awkward laugh] And I asmr much good during the day either.

[devoutish]

[He cuts a glance at her, raising an eyebrow.]

Sleeping better now?

[He - like most of the people here, he imagines - knows how things like that can linger.]