IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

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[bywolves]

[ That - that voice. He frowns. It doesn't make sense, that's not.. that isn't Hadrian. And this isn't how this goes. Hadrian couldn't reach him, but Alfie does. Alfie.

Royce looks up, startled - tears streak down his face, and for a long moment, he doesn't know what to do, what to say. Alfie. It's not Hadrian. And this isn't real. This already happened.

Hesitantly, Royce brings his other hand up, and clings to Alfie's arm - and then, abruptly, the memory ends.

[devoutish]

[It ends, and Alfie is disoriented in a way that he never has been at the end of a memory. He gasps, sitting up fast in a way that wrenches his back, fingers grasping at nothing in the air in front of him. Royce--]

[bywolves]

[ Royce wakes up similarly - he wakes up and feels like he's falling, like Hadrian - like Alfie, like -- like someone let go. It's a good thing they're not on an actual bed, because he would've fallen off of it. Breathing harshly, Royce reaches for Alfie, tangling his fingers into Alfie's shirt. It's okay, it's alright, he's right here.

God, he'll never get over how real these memories feel. He's reeling. ]

[devoutish]

[The moonlight on the water. The crystals. The stars in the clear sky. They're not in Elan, they're not on a bridge, there's no woman's body lying in the rain behind him.

Alfie presses both his hands over Royce's holding it in place. He croaks:]

Are you all right?

[bywolves]

No.

[ He croaks in return, breathing heaving in. He tries pulling Alfie closer, the connection between them shivery and upset. He's trying to hold back the pain and grief the memory brought back, and failing - it spills over, flooding into Alfie, and a fresh wave of tears drip down Royce's cheeks.

They're not in Elan. Not in Colnora. It happened more than a year ago. ]

[devoutish]

[But he's alive. He's unhurt. Alfie runs his hands over his arms just to make sure, staring down at him hard, trying to force that mental image of him dangling off the bridge out of his mind.

His own side of the connection is a smidge shaky too, but he forces all the comfort and reassurance that he can into it, squeezing Royce against him and exhaling hard into his hair.]

She's in Aria, mate. She's all right.

[bywolves]

[ She's in Aria. He knows. He curls into Alfie's hold, dragging in unsteady breaths, closing his eyes so he doesn't have to check and see if he's covered in blood. He knows he isn't, he just thinks it's easier to hold onto that and not take any chances. ]

You came up from under the bridge. [ Royce says, swallowing hard. ] Was he there?

[devoutish]

[A pause.]

Yes. He did it.

I killed him for it.

[bywolves]

[ Royce holds on a little more tightly. ]

Yeah. Yeah, okay. [ A long pause, and then: ] Thank you.

[devoutish]

I only wish it was something you could have done in reality, mate.

[There's another pause as he winds his fingers into Royce's hair, trying not to hold on too tightly.]

Everything else - was that just how it happened?

[bywolves]

[ Maybe strangely enough, it relaxes him when Alfie gets his fingers in Royce's hair, even if he does have to try to keep his hold gentle. He sighs out a low sound and keeps his eyes closed. ]

Almost exactly. But it wasn't you that pulled me up, it was Hadrian.

[devoutish]

Good.

[He's glad someone had; he'd worried about that.]

Yeah. Good.

[bywolves]

Gwen knew what he'd say to try and get me to listen. [ Royce says, muffled. ] She said it to me. Before she died. I was going to let go, but Hadrian said exactly what Gwen did.

It surprised me. So I let him pull me up.

[devoutish]

[Alfie shivers, grabbing up the blanket and pulling it around both of them.]

What did she say?

[bywolves]

[ He's burrowed against Alfie, so it's easy for him to just wrap him up and keep him burrito'd. ]

Don't let go. Whatever you do, don't let go. [ He says, quietly. And that's all he really wants to go into, as far as details. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie closes his eyes.]

I'm so sorry, sweetheart.

[bywolves]

[ Deep breath. ]

I'm okay. [ He murmurs. ] It's okay.

[devoutish]

Yes, you are.

[Alfie murmurs, kissing his cheek, then pressing his forehead firmly against Royce's.]

You're all right. Gwen's all right.

[bywolves]

[ He noses a bit against Alfie's nose, going kind of quiet for a moment. He's repeating it in his head - you're all right, Gwen's all right. He's not sure if he regrets killing Merrick, either. ]

You saw what I did, after. [ Arson, lots of murder. You know. ]

[devoutish]

Yes.

[He pulls Royce closer, his hold secure. He saw, and he doesn't blame him for any of it.]

[bywolves]

I knew Merrick didn't kill her. [ He sounds sort of distant - not quite the way he used to in Norfinbury. But he's putting some space between him and it, trying to sort through it. ]

[devoutish]

[But his actions still led to her death, is what Alfie thinks and doesn't say. He knows that Royce knows that he's thinking it, or something like it - but this is still Royce's conundrum to sort through, and Alfie won't give direct input unless he's asked for it. He just squeezes him tighter.]

[bywolves]

But it didn't matter. [ He murmurs. ] Arcadius hired him to do it. He took the job. He knew what the consequences would be.

You know - he said he wanted to work with me again someday. But he didn't know who I was, when he said it. Not anymore.

[devoutish]

He cared about you only as far as you could be useful to him. You did the right thing, moving on from him.

[bywolves]

Yeah. I know. [ Royce turns his face to hide it against Alfie's neck. ] Even in the end he just wanted to save his own skin.

[ But even so. Even so, he misses what he had. ]