IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

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[devoutish]

[Alfie listens quietly - not interrupting, not moving his legs.]

What about me?

[And then there's you is ambiguous, he feels; it could mean a lot of things.]

[bywolves]

[ His jaw works. ]

For as much as we don't define it, we are - something. Something together. And I care about you as much as I care for Gwen. That isn't something I want to throw away.

[devoutish]

And you would be throwing that way, if you and K--?

[bywolves]

I don't know. Would I? What would have to change, in order to make that work?

[devoutish]

I don't think that's a question that I can answer for you, Royce. But--

[He cuts himself off for a moment, hesitating.]

[bywolves]

[ Royce looks up at him, expression - sad. He doesn't want to be having this conversation, but he knows they have to. ]

[devoutish]

But I've got no interest in being a third wheel either, Royce. And if this is what you want, if K can give you something that I can't--

[Another cut-off. He closes his eyes for a moment, shuddering a little.]

[bywolves]

No. [ Royce says, sharply - and he doesn't even really mean to, it bursts out of him without his permission. He pushes Alfie's legs off of him just enough to move, sitting closer to Alfie so he can lean down and rest his forehead against Alfie's, framing Alfie's face with his hands. ]

No. [ He repeats, a little raggedly. ] That isn't how it is. Both of you add to my life. You are not deficient.

[devoutish]

All right.

[He nudges his forehead into Royce's, sending off a small burst of reassurance.]

All right; I believe you. I'm just trying to understand.

[bywolves]

Believe me, I'm trying to understand too.

[ Royce says, almost huffily. ] I don't know how I feel about any of this. I don't know what he expects. He said he doesn't expect anything, but that's not true. Everybody expects something, even if it's something small.

He is important to me, yes, but you have been with me for years. I am - I am unwilling to give up what we have. I just don't know how much I have to split my time. If I'm going to have to. I don't even know if it'll work.

[devoutish]

That boy has got the lowest self-esteem of nearly anybody that I've ever met--

[Present company excluded. Royce's self-esteem is in the pits.]

-- and I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't have any expectations at all. I'm sure he thinks he doesn't have the right to have any. But that's not the same as having no hopes.

[And unmet hopes can make somebody every bit as unhappy as unmet expectations.]

I do have some advice for you, if you'll have it.

[bywolves]

[ Unmet hopes. Yeah - yeah, that's exactly it. Alfie always has the words when Royce needs them. ]

I'll take anything I can get at this point. [ Royce mutters, sliding his head down to thump against Alfie's shoulder instead. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie rests his hand on Royce's head, curling his fingers into his hair.]

You talk about how you'll have to split your time, whether you'll have to do this or that - don't think of it like that. Think about how you want to do things, eh?

[bywolves]

[ Royce sighs out slow. ]

Yeah. [ That'd be the proper way to do it. Softer: ] I don't want to be away from you.

[devoutish]

[Alfie reaches for Royce's hand, lacing their fingers together.]

I don't want that, either. And even if you did date him, I don't think you'd have to be away from me.

[bywolves]

[ Royce doesn't pull away - he stays where he is, eyes closed. ]

I think you might be right. He understands. [ A pause. ] This is so strange for me.

[devoutish]

Me, too.

[He says, a sigh exhaled against Royce's cheek.]

I'm sorry I made you nervous.

[He's just a bit nervous himself, that's all.]

[bywolves]

It's okay. [ Royce mumbles, squeezing Alfie's hand. ] I don't know how to deal with people even wanting me around, much less wanting to be with me. It all makes me nervous.

[devoutish]

Nearly everybody in this village wants you around, Royce, and I don't blame them for it.

[bywolves]

[ He wrinkles his nose. ]

I don't understand why. It doesn't make sense to me. Forty something years of being hated or ignored, and now suddenly I can't keep up.

[devoutish]

[Alfie gives a little sniff. It sounds exactly like one of Royce's.]

People on your world have got terrible taste, mate.

[bywolves]

[ Oh, but that's - cute, and nice, and something pleased twists in Royce's chest. It comes out as relief that he lets curl out of him, his connection hesitantly open. ]

No, I think it's the Meadous that has terrible taste. But I appreciate it.

[devoutish]

Stubborn.

[He says, affection in his voice - and then, reluctantly, he pulls back a little.]

I need to lie down again.

[His ribs.]

[bywolves]

[ Royce pulls back as well, near immediately. He's frowning a bit, hand on Alfie's ribs, gentle. ]

Do you want anything for it? [ Like pain pills, or ice, or heat... ] Lay down.

[devoutish]

Nah. They're fine; I'm taking it easy, that's all.

[Just like you keep telling him to!!]