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[devoutish]

[CAPTCHA-avoiding continuation of this post.]

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... oh my god if you can believe it I DID IT AGAIN what the fuck is wrong with me

[devoutish]

Mmmm. We've got castles like that, too.

Will there be many people there, or will it be deserted?

LMAO i was wondering!!!

[bywolves]

No idea. There were a handful of people who lived in the castle when I was there last.

sighs @ me

[devoutish]

Can we kick them out?

[He says lightly.]

[bywolves]

[ Snort. ]

if you'd like to try, you can.

[devoutish]

I will. I'd like to have a castle all to ourselves.

We'll keep the cook, I suppose.

[bywolves]

[ He's quiet for a moment, losing himself in the fantasy of being - not home, so much, but... out of here. Out of Norfinbury. The longing hits him like a sack of bricks, and his next inhale is a little shivery. ]

Yeah. Yeah, we can. Keep the cook.

[devoutish]

[Alfie pulls away just enough to edge himself down further on the mattress, lying down with his head resting against Royce's side.]

Are the beds nice?

[bywolves]

[ Royce rests a hand on Alfie's head, petting at his hair absently. ]

Better than they are here.

[devoutish]

We'll lie in for days, then. In a room with a view, looking out the window at the sea.

[bywolves]

[ A long pause, and then: ]

I can't do this today. [ He sounds a bit choked up. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie hesitates, then nods, patting Royce's leg.]

I'm sorry.

[bywolves]

It isn't your fault. [ Royce murmurs, closing his eyes. ] It usually helps, if only a little. Just not today.

[devoutish]

Sleep, then. Lie down.

[bywolves]

[ He stays where he is, for the moment. ]

I'm okay. I like where you are. [ He doesn't want to dislodge Alfie. ]

[devoutish]

I'm glad for it, because I wasn't planning to move.

[bywolves]

[ He can sleep sitting up, honestly. ]

You should sleep, too. I'd like to try to start moving tomorrow.

[devoutish]

Mm. To the store and then back here?

[bywolves]

Yeah.

I'd... I'd like to stop to see if there are new books. Possibly.

[devoutish]

Sure, yeah. Of course we'll do that.

[bywolves]

This is different. [ Royce says after a moment. ] This level of... whatever it is poisoning I have. I can feel, but what I feel isn't pleasant.

It's disconcerting to try and figure out which one I prefer.

[devoutish]

I know what you're feeling.

[It's the same thing Alfie himself has been feeling for months.]

Do you need to try to figure out which you prefer?

[bywolves]

No, I... suppose I don't need to know. [ He frowns. ] I know which is easier.

[devoutish]

Not feeling is.

[He's sure enough of that that he doesn't even phrase it as a question.]

[bywolves]

Mm. [ He sighs. ] It is so much easier to get through this when I can't find it in me to be upset.

[devoutish]

Scarier for me, though. Is that selfish?