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[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

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christens this new post with royce angst tm

[bywolves]

[ The town meeting is over, and Royce has talked to Gabriel - but he's still angry, and the walk home really just works him up again. He vanishes before Alfie can catch up with him, but when Alfie comes back home, he'll hear the shatter of porcelain, and the thud of a knife hitting a wall.

Royce is in the kitchen, hood up, sitting on the table. Across the room from him, a pretty vase that neither of them are sure belongs to who is shattered in pieces on the floor, and Alverstone is sticking out of the wall where the vase once was resting against. The angry thundercloud over Royce's head is practically visible, and the book that he's been refusing to read is still bonking him against the shoulder every few minutes. ]

as it should be

[devoutish]

[Yup, this is about what he expected. Alfie bats at the book, more for the satisfaction of it than because he thinks it'll actually do something, and sits himself down next to Royce. Yes, on the table. He's willing to compromise for love.]

I never liked that vase much anyway.

[bywolves]

[ Normally, Royce might answer, but he's buzzing. He's practically vibrating with how angry he is, jaw clenched tight. If he opens his mouth he might start shouting, and he refuses to take it out on Alfie.

As it is, his connection fuzzes with how much he's trying to keep his anger to himself. He'll let Alfie have a low level of it - mostly it's hurt, because town meetings always are like this for him. He speaks up, and the do-gooders talk down to him, brush off his efforts and feelings. It was particularly bad this time - it stung. He doesn't know why he bothers. Next time, he won't go. They don't want to hear his opinion anyway. ]

[devoutish]

Just let it out, mate.

[Alfie says, giving his elbow a squeeze.]

Don't sit there stewing in it.

[bywolves]

I wasn't antagonizing them. [ Royce snaps. ] I didn't search the damned bugs out. They came to me. I defended myself.

[devoutish]

Would you like me to play the part of the others? "Ah, no, but we can't fight back; that would be teaching Zephyr that excessive kindness and passivity aren't the solutions to every problem. Far better to coddle them as much as possible".

[bywolves]

[ A burst of that anger slips out - he's on the verge of seeing red. ]

I hate the way they talk to me.

[devoutish]

Mm. They look down on us, even if they don't think they do.

[bywolves]

[ He swallows hard, pulling one of his legs up to his chest. ]

They always do. I'm not going to the next town meeting.

[devoutish]

I'll speak for the both of us, then, yeah?

[bywolves]

Yeah. Okay. [ He trusts Alfie not to screw him over. To treat him like a kid who needs his hand slapped.

He drags in a breath, trying to calm himself down. It's making him feel sick to his stomach. Uneasily, he wraps his arms around his leg that he has pulled to his chest, staring at the ground. ]

[devoutish]

Royce.

[There's not really something Alfie's looking to say, here. He just wants to say his name; another way of saying I'm here.

He is also, maybe, just a bit worried.]

[bywolves]

[ Royce takes another deep breath. ]

It - stings. [ Royce says, finally. ] To hear this over and over. You're wrong. Your opinion doesn't matter. They don't say it out loud, but it's what they're saying.

You're wrong. What you feel is irrelevant. Your decisions are something we have to fix. [ He picks at a loose thread. ] I'm angry. It feels like injustice. It feels ugly.

[devoutish]

I hope you know how proud I was of you when I saw you standing at the base of the tower with that lighter in your hand. Triumphant.

[bywolves]

... Thank you. [ Royce murmurs, after a moment. He reaches for Alfie's hand, though he doesn't uncurl quite yet. ]

It felt good to do. Not just because of the Beetles. It felt a little like burning away a part of Norfinbury.

[devoutish]

[Alfie encloses Royce's hand in both of his, holding it tight.]

Mm. I'm proud of the signs, as well.

[bywolves]

[ That gets a snort. ]

I'm not surprised. I'm not apologizing.

[devoutish]

I expect we'll have a good long while to enjoy them, then, eh?

[bywolves]

[ Royce glances over at Alfie with a weary smile. It's a little forced, but. ]

Mm. Suppose we'll set a record.

[devoutish]

[Alfie leans into his shoulder.]

Yeah, that'll be lovely, won't it.

Are you gonna be all right?

[bywolves]

Probably. [ Royce murmurs. ] Give me a day or two. I have a lot on my mind.

[devoutish]

Tell me more about it, then, if you like.

[bywolves]

[ He's quiet for a long moment. ]

I don't know how to sort through half of it. Town meetings always - they always make me feel small.

[devoutish]

Then how do we make you feel big again?

[bywolves]

I don't know. Time, usually.

It's an ongoing problem. And I don't think it can be solved. John is who he is. He will not change.