devoutish | IC contact for snowblindrpg

Mm - but would you want to survive, if you were the only one that did?

[ That catches him up short, and he's silent for a long moment. ]

The time traveler in my world once told me that I die, alone, with no one to mourn me. Don't think he had Norfinbury in mind for that, unless he comes here specifically to laugh at me.

But at least if I'm alone here, I have the option of dying. So- no, if I were the only one left? No.

And this time traveler - is he someone whose word you can trust?

[It's kind of a digression, but Alfie's curious about this now. Even if Sylar considers him trustworthy, that doesn't mean Alfie will, but it's still an interesting thing to consider.]

Because if he's telling the truth, that means either he comes here and gets out, or you get out yourself.

[ That's a good question. Does Hiro tell the truth? Gabriel thinks it over for a few seconds. ]

I think he's telling the truth as he knows it, but time travel can get pretty damn complicated. Maybe Norfinbury broke the timeline by bringing me here. It's hard to say. I'd ask Davesprite, but I'm pretty sure I'd get tons of words I've never heard of in response.

Still- it seems like the sort of thing that'd happen to me eventually.

Yeah. You've done things that are un-fucking-forgivable.

But you're just making things even worse by wallowing, aren't you.

[ He scoffs lightly, a little surprised by that response. ]

Is that what I'm doing? Wallowing? Sorry, I was trying for the opposite, here.

Well-- not as much as you could be, I suppose. You don't make a fucking art of it, like Watson and Elric do.

Hah. Okay, point. I think if I did, I wouldn't be around anymore. They'd blame themselves for the sun going down, if they could.

[ Al maybe a little less than Watson? He'd like to think so, anyway. ]

But Al does think it'd be better if I felt bad for everything I've done. I worked so hard to turn that off that it's a little creaky, trying to get it going again. Don't think the mania's helping with that, either.

Anyways, I'm working on it.

Yeah, but I wasn't telling you not to feel bad, understand. Just don't feel sorry for yourself.

Oh.

[ He honestly hadn't differentiated between the two before now. It actually makes him pause fr a moment as he thinks that through. ]

Well, I'll...try to work on that, too.

Is that what you've seen Al doing? Feeling sorry for himself?

[ He's honestly pretty lost at this point. He's really bad at this sort of emotional evaluation, and just starting to realize that. ]

No, it's a bit different with him, I think. He punishes himself. Watson does the same. But you don't, do you.

No. I did once, but- that was before I 'committed to the bit', so to speak. But I didn't know then if something was forcing my hand or if I was just evil.

I still don't understand the point of beating yourself up for something you couldn't stop. It's not like Al or Watson are the ones doing terrible things to people, unless they're actually forced.

But surely you've got some understanding of the mindset, if you used to have it yourself.

I was never as bad as they were. I felt bad, sure- terrible. But it wasn't like I failed to stop a murder, or didn't keep people from getting hurt. I killed someone without even thinking about it and realized what I'd done when the blood was on my hands.

A lot like the brainwashing here, but there wasn't anything back home but me and my ability.

So of course I get why John felt bad after that one night when people got randomly murderous, but when it's just that you didn't protect someone? No one can do everything. I guess it's just an amplified version of the same idea, though.

You understand, then, even if you think they're being fucking idiots about it.

[Or maybe a bit less on-the-nose than that, Alfie.]

Ha. Yeah, okay. I guess that's true. At least I managed to talk Al down from blaming himself for the whole convert thing. He understood what I was saying, too.

Not sure if John'll ever stop martyring himself, but maybe? He is reasonable sometimes.

Did it really work with Al? Has he changed his behavior, going forward from that?

Yeah, it did. I mean, he hasn't been brainwashed since then, so I don't know if it'll come up again, but he hasn't been as hard on himself as he used to be. Showing it to him from the perspective of him not accepting the reality of the situation has made him more thoughtful about it.

And if it's not a kneejerk response, he's a really reasonable guy.

[ At the very least, it's a lot less exhausting on Gabriel's end. ]

Huh.

[That Al had listened is a surprise to Alfie, but not an unpleasant one.]

Yeah, he's not a bad kid. Bit annoying, bit of a know-it-all, but--

[ Gabriel laughs lightly, and the fondness comes back into his voice. ] Yeah, he is. But most of it's earned. He and his brother studied science for years- since he was five, I think. He has a real trust in it. Really helps with being able to talk to him.

Well, that and he's had his principles tested a lot. Makes him think about what he's doing more. Kid's probably more mature than half the adults in this town, honestly.

[ And yeah, that definitely includes himself. ]

That's not the sort of impression I've gotten from him at all.

Why's that? Something happen between you two? Or is it just his stubborn optimism?

A bit of this, a bit of that. Nothing too terrible.

[And nothing he plans to recount in detail to Sylar.]

Well, as long as it's not too terrible. I mean, I know how people can change here better than anyone. Maybe he's changed a little, too.

Or maybe you both got stubborn on something most of us wouldn't care about. That's also possible.

[ If Alfie isn't going to tell him, he's just going to make guesses. ]

It's not one incident alone, mate. He just strikes me as very much a kid, yeah? That's all. But here's the question, right - if we were at odds over something that none of the rest of you cared about, would that automatically make that thing silly and unimportant?

IC contact for snowblindrpg

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