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[devoutish]

Yeah?

[That's it, that's all you get.]

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Comments

[devoutish]

[What the fuck.]

And stuff like that is common, or an outlier case?

[rubikscomplex]

i don't get common cases outside my clinic obligations
that's the more extreme end of the spectrum
but it happens often enough to be one of the few patterns in my caseload
you get all sorts
my buddy referred a case to me
teacher who just suddenly lost the ability to speak and started seizing
said she was his cousin to get me to take the case
he's jewish
we found out she wasn't when we went to her house and one of my team found pork in the fridge
wanna know why your ancestors decided on the pork rule?
someone figured out undercooked pork's a breeding ground for tapeworms
not usually a problem
except when they are
our little not-so-jewish princess had a tapeworm in her brain that was dying
and decided to take her with it
that was a fun case

[devoutish]

That's fucking disgusting, mate.

But your first woman perplexes me more. Once you told her the likely culprit, why didn't she find an excuse to send the husband out of the room? "Yes Doctor, I have fucked someone who's been to Africa, but you need to pretend you're treating me for something else." She could get away with it in your day and age, couldn't she?

[rubikscomplex]

yeah
except she had him in the room all those other times we explained to her about it being something that's really not indigenous to the u.s.
she was worried hubby would leave her
guess she thought dying was better than getting found out
turned out she was right
as soon as she woke up
he left
love is never unconditional

[devoutish]

Can you fucking blame him?

[rubikscomplex]

yes?
so she slept around
so what?
she was still willing to die to stop him finding out and hurting him
she would be dead if he hadn't decided to believe us about the whole cheating thing and authorized the treatment

[devoutish]

"So what"? Goodness, I pity the woman married to you.

[rubikscomplex]

you think i'm married?
you're cute, solomons
and just because i'm not going to burn her ass for cheating doesn't mean i'd do it
no attachments
no worries

[devoutish]

Hypothetical statement, but I have seen more disagreeable men than you marry.

No wonder you've got your little death wish. Your life sounds fucking horrible.

[rubikscomplex]

you think diagnosing people
solving puzzles
saving lives
being able to go out to strip joints nightly
and drink as much as i want when i want sounds horrible?

[He's leaving out a lot, but he's making a point here.]

[devoutish]

Oh, come on, House. You know what I meant.

[rubikscomplex]

nope
because i'm pretty sure you got the cosmic short end of the stick
as the 1920s jewish gangster from london

[devoutish]

You are fucking human, mate. Even the most horrible people need connection, and you are far from the most horrible person out there.

[rubikscomplex]

clearly i haven't been trying hard enough lately to be horrible
and "we" means me and my team
and i just told you i have a buddy
that's enough

[devoutish]

You have never killed a man in your life. I would bet money on that.

[rubikscomplex]

how much you got on hand, solomons?
i'm expecting full payment of that when we meet up, too

[devoutish]

I'm not counting patient death.

cw: discussion of suicide

[rubikscomplex]

induced patient death?
assisted suicide's still illegal in jersey
it's close enough

[devoutish]

With the patient's consent?

[rubikscomplex]

you're putting a lot of caveats on what constitutes murder
if i ever need a lawyer
i'll know who to call

[devoutish]

It's not murder. Not the sort I'm talking about.

Point is, right, you are not as bad as you think you are, and I've known that since the night I pulled a scalpel on you and saw real fear in your eyes. You are certainly not to the point where 'no attachments' is likely to be something you enjoy. Haven't you got any family at all?

[rubikscomplex]

wow
i'm touched you care so much
don't project your need for friends and family onto me
but just for your peace of mind
my parents are alive and well and living upstate
they love and support me unconditionally

[devoutish]

Well there, look at that. Seems you have got attachments after all.

[rubikscomplex]

so glad we worked through this
are we done with this session, freud?
because you've got a serious hard-on for "community"
and it's making me uncomfortable

[devoutish]

Yeah.

I'll see you in a few days, House. Try to remember your parents are safe at home, eh? That's a comfort.

[Alfie Solomons - always here to say things he actually means, but in the most purposefully needling way possible.]