IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

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[bywolves]

[ He shakes his head. ]

I am bad luck. [ Like always. ] I mean with Xanthous. This was what he must've been talking about.

[devoutish]

[Alfie grunts, displeased.]

You're not bad luck.

[bywolves]

[ He shrugs vaguely. He won't argue, but. It's still a thought that constantly lurks at the back of his mind. ]

[devoutish]

Ah-- Royce, Royce, Royce.

[He balances the rest of the buttered bread on Royce's stomach, then rolls over and presses against his side.]

[bywolves]

[ Royce takes the buttered bread, picking at it absently and popping pieces of it in his mouth. Bear lets out a low, rumbling sort of hruff sound, nosing at Royce's back, and Royce startles so badly he nearly drops the bread, breath catching. ]

[devoutish]

I do worry about you.

[Alfie threads his fingers through Royce's hair. He still hasn't touched the bread himself.]

Less because you do dangerous things.

[bywolves]

[ Willing himself to stop being so jumpy, Royce brushes his hands off after just - giving Bear the bread. He doesn't want to reach to the table to put it down and Bear is more than happy to be a garbage disposal. He sinks back down into the bed, just in time for Alfie to run his hands through his hair. Royce shivers. ]

Why do you worry, then?

[devoutish]

[Royce, that bread is not for dogs. Alfie makes a slightly scandalized sound in the back of his throat before answering:]

I always worry about you thinking badly of yourself when you don't deserve it, mate.

[bywolves]

[ Well, maybe you should've eaten it, Alfie!! ]

I don't think badly of myself. [ Royce says, with a sigh. He shifts away from the fingers, sitting up and pulling his knees to his chest. ]

[devoutish]

You do sometimes, yeah.

[But he pulls his hand back, just watching Royce.]

[bywolves]

[ Royce looks over his shoulder at Alfie with a flat expression. ]

Don't you ever get tired of arguing with me about this?

[devoutish]

Yeah.

[Can you be angry with this face, Royce.]

But I'm not gonna stop, all the same.

[bywolves]

[ No, he can't, which makes him grouchy. He turns his head back to face the front and curls up into his knees. ]

I get tired of arguing with me about this.

[devoutish]

Yeah.

[He knows. He stays where he is, staring at Royce's back.]

cw: gore

[bywolves]

[ Royce doesn't say anything else. He doesn't have much else in his head, at the moment - he's tired, and he's weirdly sore, and he doesn't know what to do with himself. He touched his own insides, earlier. He can't get that out of his head, the image of his broken bones and organs spilling out of him. The deaths he had in Norfinbury weren't ever like that.

If Alfie doesn't say anything else for a few more minutes, Royce actually gets up and heads to the bathroom. He doesn't throw up, but he does come close, trembling over the sink. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie waits, tense and worried as he stares up at the ceiling. After a few minutes, he calls out:]

Royce.

[bywolves]

[ Royce doesn't answer, because he's trying not to yartz. His grip tightens on the sink. Think of something else, he tells himself, stubbornly. ]

[devoutish]

Just tell me whether or not you want to be on your own, Royce.

[He will come in there in an instant if he's wanted.]

[bywolves]

[ A beat, and then he manages, shakily: ]

Yeah. Come here. Please. [ Something twists in him - he hates asking for help, even now, even after everything, but he can't do this on his own. The cold in him wraps icy around his heart and he gags a bit, swallowing hard. There was a time, in Norfinbury, that he saw his own insides, but it was methodical. Tifa. But it was different.

This was sudden. Messy. He watched it twice. And Royce Melborn is not exactly a person who shies away at guts and gore, but it's different when it's your own. ]

[devoutish]

[He'll hear the sound of Alfie practically vaulting himself off of the bed, and less than five seconds later he's in the bathroom with him. He goes to stand next to Royce at the sink, looking at the two of them in the mirror.]

[bywolves]

[ He doesn't want to look at himself, so he turns, wrapping his arms around Alfie and holding on tightly to the back of his shirt, dragging in a wet sort of breath. His grip is a little desperate. ]

Talk to me about something stupid. [ Royce says, muffled against Alfie's chest. ] I can't - I keep seeing my own insides and I --

[devoutish]

[He hugs Royce hard, bracing Royce's head against his shoulder.]

A man is sitting on his front porch watching the day go by, when a farmer with his cart drives past. "Good morning!" calls the man to the farmer. "What have you got in that wagon of yours?"

"Manure," says the farmer.

"And what are you gonna do with all that manure?" says the man.

"I'm gonna go back to my farm and spread it over the fruit," says the farmer.

The man shakes his head. "Mate, I need to have you over to mine for lunch someday. We put sour cream on our fruit. Tastes much better."

[bywolves]

[ Even just listening to Alfie's voice helps. He stares at the wall and lets Alfie take care of him, doing his best to drag in steady, evening breaths. At the end of the joke, Royce huffs out a sound, something amused in that weary, upset sort of way.

It makes it easier to come down from the panic attack he was working himself up into. Keep going, buddy. ]

[devoutish]

[He does.]

There was once a little village that needed a new synagogue built.

[He rubs soothing circles into Royce's back.]

And so all the strongest men got together and went off into the mountains to gather stone for its foundation. At the top, they heaved the biggest boulders that they could carry onto their shoulders and started walking back down. When, after many hours, they finally reached the village at the bottom, one of their grandmothers stuck her head out her window and called to her grandson: "Are you stupid, boy? Why didn't you just roll those boulders down the mountain?" The men stopped walking and looked at each other, and then, still carrying the boulders, they turned right around. They climbed that big fuck-off mountain again, and when they reached the top, they rolled the stones down. "She was right," one man said to another. "That was a much better idea."

[bywolves]

[ The soothing circles actually ease him up. His shoulders slowly relax. He mumbles something that sounds like stupid, but it's mostly inaudible and he sounds vaguely amused anyway. ]