IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

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[bywolves]

[ He'd murder an entire city. Again. He'd set fire to Colnora, he'd erase every single politician and clergyman and merchant, every single man and woman who put what they thought would be the good of the world before the good of his world. He'd destroy all of them in a heartbeat if it meant this never happened. But it did. And he knows it did, and he's so far down in the rabbithole of his memory that nothing matters. The only person he'd ever loved - the only person who had loved him, without asking anything in return - she's dead.

Merrick sobs, and pleads, desperate, you have to believe me.

He doesn't hear Alfie over the roar of the river underneath them. He's lost in this. He just smiles at Merrick, pulling Alverstone slowly from Merrick's shoulder. ]

I believe you. I just don't care.

[ He says, soft - his voice carries, just loud enough for Alfie to hear. And then Royce sinks Alverstone into Merrick's chest, and it's just like before. Royce never told Alfie this part, not in detail. He killed Merrick, and Merrick almost killed him in return - Merrick grabs at Royce as he falls, yanking Royce off the bridge with him. They both go, tumbling off the edge. ]

[devoutish]

[And that's not something that Alfie is going to stand back for. The moment Royce starts to fall, he runs, pounding across the bridge and practically throwing himself over the railing, grasping wildly for Royce's hand.]

Royce!

[bywolves]

[ He's hanging there, staring down at the river below. Four fingers cling to the edge of the Langdon Brdige, feet dangling free. His cloak whips wildly with the wind - there's the spray of water, occasionally. It's cold. The snow keeps falling. He's cold. Too cold and too tired to respond to his name, to Hadrian. How does Hadrian always find him? Hadrian always gets him before its too late.

But it is too late this time. Royce doesn't look up. ]

[devoutish]

Royce!

[He swipes wildly through the air, trying to catch his wrist. He misses the first time, which makes his heart leap into his throat, but he gets ahold of it the second time, wrapping his fingers around it and holding tight.]

[bywolves]

[ That - that voice. He frowns. It doesn't make sense, that's not.. that isn't Hadrian. And this isn't how this goes. Hadrian couldn't reach him, but Alfie does. Alfie.

Royce looks up, startled - tears streak down his face, and for a long moment, he doesn't know what to do, what to say. Alfie. It's not Hadrian. And this isn't real. This already happened.

Hesitantly, Royce brings his other hand up, and clings to Alfie's arm - and then, abruptly, the memory ends.

[devoutish]

[It ends, and Alfie is disoriented in a way that he never has been at the end of a memory. He gasps, sitting up fast in a way that wrenches his back, fingers grasping at nothing in the air in front of him. Royce--]

[bywolves]

[ Royce wakes up similarly - he wakes up and feels like he's falling, like Hadrian - like Alfie, like -- like someone let go. It's a good thing they're not on an actual bed, because he would've fallen off of it. Breathing harshly, Royce reaches for Alfie, tangling his fingers into Alfie's shirt. It's okay, it's alright, he's right here.

God, he'll never get over how real these memories feel. He's reeling. ]

[devoutish]

[The moonlight on the water. The crystals. The stars in the clear sky. They're not in Elan, they're not on a bridge, there's no woman's body lying in the rain behind him.

Alfie presses both his hands over Royce's holding it in place. He croaks:]

Are you all right?

[bywolves]

No.

[ He croaks in return, breathing heaving in. He tries pulling Alfie closer, the connection between them shivery and upset. He's trying to hold back the pain and grief the memory brought back, and failing - it spills over, flooding into Alfie, and a fresh wave of tears drip down Royce's cheeks.

They're not in Elan. Not in Colnora. It happened more than a year ago. ]

[devoutish]

[But he's alive. He's unhurt. Alfie runs his hands over his arms just to make sure, staring down at him hard, trying to force that mental image of him dangling off the bridge out of his mind.

His own side of the connection is a smidge shaky too, but he forces all the comfort and reassurance that he can into it, squeezing Royce against him and exhaling hard into his hair.]

She's in Aria, mate. She's all right.

[bywolves]

[ She's in Aria. He knows. He curls into Alfie's hold, dragging in unsteady breaths, closing his eyes so he doesn't have to check and see if he's covered in blood. He knows he isn't, he just thinks it's easier to hold onto that and not take any chances. ]

You came up from under the bridge. [ Royce says, swallowing hard. ] Was he there?

[devoutish]

[A pause.]

Yes. He did it.

I killed him for it.

[bywolves]

[ Royce holds on a little more tightly. ]

Yeah. Yeah, okay. [ A long pause, and then: ] Thank you.

[devoutish]

I only wish it was something you could have done in reality, mate.

[There's another pause as he winds his fingers into Royce's hair, trying not to hold on too tightly.]

Everything else - was that just how it happened?

[bywolves]

[ Maybe strangely enough, it relaxes him when Alfie gets his fingers in Royce's hair, even if he does have to try to keep his hold gentle. He sighs out a low sound and keeps his eyes closed. ]

Almost exactly. But it wasn't you that pulled me up, it was Hadrian.

[devoutish]

Good.

[He's glad someone had; he'd worried about that.]

Yeah. Good.

[bywolves]

Gwen knew what he'd say to try and get me to listen. [ Royce says, muffled. ] She said it to me. Before she died. I was going to let go, but Hadrian said exactly what Gwen did.

It surprised me. So I let him pull me up.

[devoutish]

[Alfie shivers, grabbing up the blanket and pulling it around both of them.]

What did she say?

[bywolves]

[ He's burrowed against Alfie, so it's easy for him to just wrap him up and keep him burrito'd. ]

Don't let go. Whatever you do, don't let go. [ He says, quietly. And that's all he really wants to go into, as far as details. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie closes his eyes.]

I'm so sorry, sweetheart.

[bywolves]

[ Deep breath. ]

I'm okay. [ He murmurs. ] It's okay.

[devoutish]

Yes, you are.

[Alfie murmurs, kissing his cheek, then pressing his forehead firmly against Royce's.]

You're all right. Gwen's all right.

[bywolves]

[ He noses a bit against Alfie's nose, going kind of quiet for a moment. He's repeating it in his head - you're all right, Gwen's all right. He's not sure if he regrets killing Merrick, either. ]

You saw what I did, after. [ Arson, lots of murder. You know. ]

[devoutish]

Yes.

[He pulls Royce closer, his hold secure. He saw, and he doesn't blame him for any of it.]

[bywolves]

I knew Merrick didn't kill her. [ He sounds sort of distant - not quite the way he used to in Norfinbury. But he's putting some space between him and it, trying to sort through it. ]