devoutish | IC contact for snowblindrpg

[ They probably should, but Royce is tired, and they're warm, and so he doesn't stand. Instead, he murmurs the prayers with Alfie, tucked up close, and soon enough, he falls asleep. It's peaceful, too - it's good sleep, because he's just warm enough.

And then it's the next day, and they're traveling again, and he feels good. Not excellent, but. Good. He's okay. It's kind of a nice feeling, being out from under the haze, but it does also come with a sensation of being lost. Royce hasn't cared where they've been going for so long that he has no idea where they're at.

So he just follows Alfie, alert and attentive. ]

These buildings are bad.

[Alfie gestures to the skyscrapers around them, hoisting his messenger bag up a little higher on his shoulder.]

They might not be good for you right now. If you wanna stay out while I search--

No, I'm alright. [ Royce says, shaking his head. ] Two of us searching is much faster anyway. Lead the way. I'll follow.

[Alfie gives him searching look, but nods, and leads him towards one of the bigger buildings.]

We can go up this one. On the map, there's a walkway that stretches down there--

[He points northeast.]

Mm. [ Royce gestures a little, like go on. ] I'm right behind you.

[For people entering in at the top of the building via the skywalk, each level down gets progressively more hellish. But Alfie and Royce are entering at the ground level, and so they're thrown into the thick of it right away. Alfie opens the door, and they're immediately confronted with a piece of leather made from human skin hanging on the wall opposite. Alfie pauses, and makes a stifled little sound in the back of his throat.

He's fine. He's fine, he'll go on, he just needs a moment.]

[ Oh. That's... a thing.

Royce probably isn't as horrified as he should be. He's seen some pretty horrible stuff - done some pretty horrible stuff, and this isn't the worst of it. But... human leather. He can't let himself think about it too hard. Instead, he looks away, and moves forward to rest a hand on Alfie's back. ]

Come on.

[He reaches back to wrap an arm around Royce's elbow, and pushes forward.

But it's not going to let up once they get through the door. The air feels heavy and oppressive, like it's physically weighing them down. There's blood everywhere, on the floors and walls and furniture, and they have to step carefully if they want to avoid stepping on bits of broken teeth and bone. In some places, it'll be impossible.]

[ Weirdly enough, it's the teeth that get him.

Royce keeps moving but - the air is heavy and he feels like he can't breathe, like he's feeling what these people went through. And he feels it loud and clear - with nothing to dampen his emotions, it's overwhelming. He steps on a bit of broken teeth and fractured bone, and the crunch of it makes him think of the tower, of weeks ago, the way that his own bones sounded as Alphonse cut his fingers.

His breath catches and shudders, and without the haze over him, the fright curls up in his chest and threatens to suffocate him. Royce holds on very tightly to Alfie, pausing in the middle of the room and trying to catch his breath. ]

[Alfie opens his mouth to ask if he's okay, and that immediately feels like a mistake. It feels like the heavy, dank air rushes into him, and he clamps his mouth shut again immediately. Instead, he knocks his arm against Royce's to get his attention, then makes the sign in the thieves' guild sign language. All right?]

[ There's a bit of him that feels relief at seeing the familiar language. It helps, but not enough. Royce shakes his head, stepping back and away, trying to pull Alfie with him. ]

No. Can't. [ Is his reply, jerkily and unsteadily signed. He's going to throw up. Violence like this hasn't ever bothered him but there's so much pain in this building, so much that reminds him of the things he was carefully trying to forget and not deal with, while his emotions are clear.

He needs to leave, but his loyalty won't let him ditch Alfie. ]

[It's the type of violence that gets Alfie. He's shot men, he's killed men, he's even tortured men - but killing and torturing innocent people in a cult ritual? Dismembering their bodies and decorating a building with them? He wonders how many of these people were still alive when they were skinned and ripped apart. He wonders how many of them were children.

On impulse, he takes Royce by the shoulders and spins him around, shoving him gently back towards the door. Go.]

[ Impulse. It's easy enough to just let Alfie direct his movements like he always does. Royce stumbles out of the building, stomach rolling, and into the snow. He actually just crouches outside the door, bringing his arms up to cover his head, eyes closed. Deep breaths.

Royce doesn't throw up. But he can't breathe, and his chest is tight and he's horrified in a way he didn't think he could be. He wonders if it's selfish. He wonders if it's understandable. Right now, though, he's useless. He's cold and curled up outside the skyscraper, flashing back through memories of Alphonse snipping off fingers one by one, torture like the men and women and children inside this building probably had to suffer.

He'll be outside for a while. ]

[Alfie searches as well as he can, but mostly, he tries to set the bodies to rights. Fixing them completely is impossible - there's no way to figure out which remains belong together - but he gathers some of them up and stumbles for the door. Royce will see him pop out and carry the remains over to the grave that somebody else had started.]

[ The fright doesn't go away. The pain in his chest, the trauma - it sticks, and nothing he does gets rid of it. But eventually, Alfie comes out of the building, carrying the remains of - someone, something, and Royce can't just let him do this on his own.

Unsteadily, Royce pulls himself to his feet, and if Alfie's going back in, he'll follow. He's pale and silent and his hood is up, his breathing alarmingly shallow, but he follows. ]

[Alfie spends some time kneeling at the grave first, making sure everything he adds is properly buried and he doesn't accidentally uncover or otherwise disturb anything else. When he's done with that, he gets unsteadily to his feet, flexing his fingers as he stares down at the pile of dirt and snow. After a moment of silence, he starts to murmur a prayer. It won't be one that's familiar to Royce, but he'll probably be able to recognize Hebrew by now.]

[ He helps, if Alfie will let him. He helps bury them, careful and quiet, and when Alfie murmurs, Royce closes his eyes and bows his head. Sure, he doesn't recognize the prayer specifically, but he does register what it is. ]

[When he's done, he still doesn't move. It's a good solid minute before he finally speaks up.]

Royce.

[Just saying his name takes effort.]

I'm here. [ Royce answers, moving closer. His breath is still shallow and he's shivering, but otherwise he's steady, curling up against Alfie's side. ]

It gets better the further up you go. Better--

[Better still isn't good, but it's something.]

Less bodies and all that, is what I'm telling you.

I'm fine. [ Royce says - he's not, but he is surprisingly functional for being halfway through a panic attack. Taking Alfie's hand, Royce manages: ] We should bury what we can.

More, then?

[He looks back towards the skyscraper.]

Yeah. Yeah, just. A few.

[ He can't keep going without trying. Has to make it up to the people who didn't survive what he did. ]

You don't have to come.

I do. They didn't survive. They didn't magically get their fingers and tongues back at the end.

[ His gloved hands flex. ] Come on.

IC contact for snowblindrpg

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cw: torture aftermath and general grossness

cw probably the rest of the thread actually

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