devoutish | IC contact for wethelost

[ It's strange to think he has an accent, but he supposes he must, especially to someone from an earlier century of an alternate Earth. Who sounds like he's from a version of London, to boot. ]

Los Angeles. Probably a bit different dialect than yours. I can understand yours fine though.

A different place and many years' difference in time, yes. But I'm happy to hear that Yiddish is still around in the future. People of my generation complain that not enough of the kids are speaking it.

Not at all widely spoken, that I've noticed. But still around as a full language. Is Royce the only one you've taught it to?

Yes. It was something we started back in Norfinbury.

[ So much comes back to Norfinbury. The mention of it has K momentarily glancing toward Alfie's hands, again. ]

And he taught you Elvish in turn. [ He assumes. ] It would be interesting to learn it. But... I think maybe that's something between just the two of you. [ Something special, that he doesn't want to intrude upon, in other words. ]

Yeah, a bit. But it's a language, isn't it. They're meant to be shared and spoken.

[So while he does consider it something special that they share, he also wouldn't be offended by Royce sharing it with others, too.]

Sure. Better than being forgotten.

[ He isn't sure he wants to take that as "permission" to learn Elvish too, but at least he won't feel bad if he picks up a few words here and there in the language. It isn't as though Alfie would ever have a reason to feel threatened by his friendship with Royce, anyway.

Which brings him to something he's been wondering for sometime now. ]

You're both very close. [ It isn't a smarmy "wink wink, nudge nudge" statement, more tentatively curious and leading up to something else. ]

Yeah.

[He inclines his head at K, an unspoken go on.]

Yeah, we are. We've been through a great many things together.

[ Not one to dance around a subject, K will just get right to it. ]

Royce mentioned Mr. Navarro's a former romantic interest... Former because of things with Renart. I've gotten the distinct impression you don't care for either of them. [ People in the Meadous seem to lead such ridiculously complicated love lives and it's probably a fool's errand trying to make sense of them, but. ]

I feel like I'm missing something. Where do you fit in the equation?

I've had my troubles with them. Yes. But they weren't born of jealousy, if that's what you're curious about.

I didn't think it was jealousy. Mr. Navarro's Shadow said something about a "lesson" he taught you ruining his friendship with Royce. Sounds like you have your reasons.

[ He tilts his head. ] And getting a straight answer from Monty and Renart about anything can sometimes be difficult. [ Hence why Alfie's the only one he's asked directly about this. ]

Mr. Navarro needs to learn to take responsibility for his own actions, particularly when they're poorly thought-out.

[He takes a long sip of his tea.]

But I'll be honest, mate; I'm not sure why you'd need a straight answer. It's nothing to do with you, is it?

[He doesn't sound hostile or annoyed, though.]

[ Because K's been attempting to befriend all of the involved parties and the hinted at drama and strained relations but lack of clarity on anything can make navigating things hard sometimes. But. ]

You're right, it isn't. [ And that'll be that; he'll drop the subject. ] I've been active- [ He seems to catch himself, amending: ] Alive for a little over a year. There's a lot I still don't understand about people in general. I meant no offense.

Mm.

[Alfie considers him, scratching idly at his beard.]

No offense taken, mate. It's a better reason than wanting to insert yourself to investigate and sort things out for us.

[Watson.]

I'm not much of a gossip when it comes to my own business, that's all, and most of it's in the past. We're not going head to head with each other, at the moment.

I'd rather not insert myself like that, no. [ As he now realises he probably seemed like he was trying to do. Oops. It's hard knowing where boundaries lie sometimes. So many of his attempts at understanding people and learning about personhood have been dead ends; even his closest friend has been oddly reluctant to discuss personhood with him, so K's mostly stopped asking.

Now he'll awkwardly sip his tea and stare at the floor. ]

But that's good if things have settled, at least.

Yeah.

[Alfie sets down his tea, lacing his fingers together and resting his hands on the table.]

And there's no need to act as if you've been scolded, mate; I told you, I'm not angry.

[ That gets a small smile. ] It's just embarrassing to think I may've given you that impression. [ That's all. Emotions are weird, okay. ] In my homeworld, interacting with people was like trying to navigate a minefield. I'm still getting used to people not being like that here.

[ An explanation for why ducking his head and generally trying to make himself appear as non-threatening as possible is still his reflexive reaction to stressful situations. Including feeling mild embarrassment, apparently.

Sorry Alfie. Androids are also weird. ]

Ah, I can be like a minefield from time to time.

[He says lightly. Anyone he's dealt with for business purposes can attest to that.]

But no, here I'm being straight and honest with you.

[ Not very reassuring, Alfie. Except for the latter comment, since K is willing to take him at his word.

Meandering back to the prior topic, minus the interpersonal drama. ] You and Royce have been together for quite a while. If Zephyr's able to bring down the walls like they've mentioned, would you want to return to your homeworld? [ With or without Royce. ]

[Alfie exhales, leaning back and folding his hands over his stomach.]

We've talked about it extensively, as you might imagine. Yeah. I've got a home there, a family there - a life, and all. But-- well, I've got a life here too now, haven't I? And there are other complications, besides.

[A pause.]

I was very ill, when I came here. Something from before Norfinbury. It's been cured - Royce wished it away, as a matter of fact - but it's the sort of illness that tends to come back.

[He doesn't say cancer, specifically; he has no idea if the disease would mean anything to K.]

[ Cancer unfortunately still exists in the future that K's from, and it's one of the illnesses that immediately comes to mind as Alfie's describing what he had. Unlikely to be radiation poisoning, anyway, and he can't recall many other illnesses that might fit the bill. And cancer recurrence isn't uncommon, but— ]

Wouldn't wishing it away remove all of the cells that could potentially cause it to recur? [ Operating on the assumption that it was cancer or something like it. ] Unless... returning to your homeworld would undo that.

[ Because he isn't sure how permanently Zephyr's able to alter them. It's something he's thought a great deal about himself, in regard to asking Zephyr to grant him free will. ]

I don't know.

[He means that for both possibilities.]

I don't think it's ever been tested. We've talked about me going back and living a few more years there, an then coming back to the Meadous; we've talked about me going back long enough to try to convince my family to come live here. I've fretted over it a great deal, but ever since we got our memories of Norfinbury--

[He shrugs.]

After that, after the choices we had to make there, at the end, all this seems easy by comparison. We've got many more options here.

[ Hearing about it makes K privately grateful his own situation is entirely less complicated. The dubious benefit of having had only two friends in his homeworld, one of who is already in the Meadous. Maybe Zephyr can eventually pull in the other, too. ]

It's good to have options. [ And since they're already on the subject of illnesses and memories of Norfinbury... ] What have the memories— done to you, anyway?

[ He doesn't look toward Alfie's hands again, but he surely knows what K's referring to. The potentially psychosomatic symptoms are of interest to him; he's been dealing with something similar the last several months — psychosomatic headaches. ]

Well, the shakes.

[Which he's pretty sure doesn't actually need to be said, but.]

Nightmares, of course. Anxiety. I'm keeping on, of course; we both are. We're not about to fall apart.

[ With everything that K knows of Norfinbury, the other symptoms are hardly a surprise. Those tremors though... Hopefully they're not permanent. ]

Of course. You already survived it before. [ Stated matter-of-factly; he didn't ask in order to make Alfie feel weak. Then, in a quieter tone: ] But I can imagine it might make Royce feel guilty. [ Because if K were in his place, he knows he'd feel guilty watching his closest friend suffer like that. Especially considering why Alfie wished for the memories in the first place.

He still wishes there was a way for him to help, however small. ]

IC contact for wethelost

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cw: cancer

cw: cancer

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