IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

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[bywolves]

[ Royce links their fingers together. ] Yeah?

[devoutish]

[Royce Melborn, you read him too well.]

Nothing important. You help me every day. That's the important thing.

[bywolves]

[ A pause, and then, softer: ] I'm glad I do. What's the not important thing?

[devoutish]

Something that would make you feel bad, despite being something that's not at all your fault.

[bywolves]

[ He doesn't know what to say to that, so he sort of just looks over at Alfie. ]

I help you in some ways, but not all of the ones you need.

[devoutish]

No. No, no, no.

[He looks at him, wide-eyed.]

Royce, you help me in every conceivable way.

[bywolves]

[ He frowns. ] It's okay if that's the case. I'm not upset about it. There are some things I'm not equipped to do for you.

[devoutish]

Like what? Name one thing you can't do for me.

[bywolves]

Be Jewish. Share your culture the way your family would.

[devoutish]

You share my culture in your own way.

[bywolves]

But that isn't always what you need.

If it's not that, then what is it?

[devoutish]

I wish you trusted me enough to share those vulnerabilities that you share with K.

[It kind of comes out on its own; he'd been half-planning to hedge again, and he follows it up immediately with:]

But when it comes to things like this, I don't want you to do anything you don't feel comfortable with just because you feel you should.

[bywolves]

[ A pause, and then Royce sits up, staring down at him. ]

It definitely isn't that I don't trust you. [ Royce says, firmly. He's a little drunk, so his words slur just slightly, but he's genuine. ] I trust you more than I trust myself.

S'not that. It's that it's embarrassing. It's - needy, it takes up too much. You're - you always hold me up. I wanted to give you a break from having to do that. From having to deal with my panic when both of us went through what we did. Even though I know you don't think that way.

[devoutish]

I don't think that way at all.

[It's worth repeating, even if Royce logically understands it.]

[bywolves]

I know. But I do. And if I lay all of it all the time on you I - I feel guilty, and that knot comes back. [ He rubs at his chest. ] And I don't want to feel that way anymore.

[devoutish]

I like that you lean on other people. Not because you're overwhelming and they take the pressure off, but because I like seeing you have people you care for dearly.

[He gives Royce's hand a squeeze.]

But I would go hunting with you any day, if you decided that you wanted to.

[bywolves]

[ He rolls a little closer, resting his head on Alfie's shoulder. ]

I care about K. [ Royce says, bluntly. ] And I care about you. Next time we can go. I'll be better.

[devoutish]

I meant what I said about not having to share what you don't feel comfortable with, mate.

[bywolves]

I know. It's not discomfort.

[devoutish]

You're sure?

[bywolves]

Yes. Told you it's just embarrassing.

[devoutish]

Mmmm. All right.

[Not wanting to do something embarrassing in front of Alfie still feels like not wanting to be vulnerable in front of him, but. He decides to leave it.]

Do you worry often about not giving me enough?

[bywolves]

[ There is a very small difference in just Royce's mind. ]

Mmhm. [ He sighs. ] Not always, but - yeah. Memories of Norfinbury exaggerated that worry.

[devoutish]

Which memories? What part of them?

[bywolves]

After the tower. And towards the end. Especially towards the end.