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[devoutish]

[CAPTCHA-avoiding continuation of this post.]

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[bywolves]

Oh. [ A pause. ] There really isn't any reason to lie. I don't want to upset you, but.

[devoutish]

I don't want you worrying about upsetting me.

[bywolves]

It's hard to worry about anything at all.

[devoutish]

I know.

[Alfie twirls a lock of Royce's hair around his finger.]

That transfusion, it really did fuck-all, didn't it.

[bywolves]

It helped for a while. But not very long. [ He sighs. ] I - I don't know how much of it is the poisoning anymore, though.

[devoutish]

Yeah. You were better for a bit, long after the transfusion.

[He presses their heads closer together.]

It's Karkat, isn't it.

[bywolves]

[ He shifts to settle against Alfie's side. He's so tired. Tired, and dirty, and cold. Hungry. He's miserable and he knows Alfie is too. And - scared, maybe, because -- ]

He's gone. And I'm... upset. And jealous. And upset that I'm jealous.

[devoutish]

[So is Alfie, but he's not going to show it in anything more than the barest hints of body language - an involuntary stiffening of the shoulders, those nails biting into his palm.]

Well. I'm glad you're still with me.

[bywolves]

[ Royce carefully reaches up to wrap his arms around Alfie's shoulders. ]

I'm sorry. [ He whispers. He knows this upsets Alfie. ]

[devoutish]

I don't want you to apologize for telling me the truth.

[bywolves]

I'm apologizing because the truth makes both of us upset. [ Royce says, closing his eyes. ] And there isn't anything I can do to change it.

[devoutish]

Running trades helps, for me. We need to find something like that for you, if we possibly can.

[bywolves]

It was looking after Karkat.

[devoutish]

[And before him Emily, and before him Tifa. Alfie's grip on Royce tightens.]

Look after me. I'll even let you fuss.

[bywolves]

[ He nods. He keeps the fact that he feels like he's full of holes to himself. It doesn't help. There's not anything that can fill them, there's just - makeshift patches that he can slap over the top of them. ]

I can try. [ And then Alfie's going to die, so - that'll go well. ]

what the fuck apparently i never pressed enter on this

[devoutish]

[And then, completely by chance, Alfie coughs, and that cough turns into a coughing fit. He holds up a hand - he's fine, he's fine.]

iddy pls

[bywolves]

[ Completely by chance, Royce has a heart attack. He grabs for Alfie, rubbing at his back. He winces, if only because sudden movements really are starting to hurt, but he ignores it the best he can. ]

Here. [ He murmurs, pressing a water bottle into Alfie's hands. ]

i'm so mad; i stayed up for like three more hours and i figured you had gone to bed

[devoutish]

[He doesn't want to choke on it, so he waits until the fit is over before taking the bottle and taking a long drink.]

Thanks.

[He says, a little gasping.]

I'm fine. I am.

IDDY!!! oh my god

[bywolves]

[ He keeps rubbing Alfie's back, expression tight and concerned. ]

You're not fine. [ He says, in a tone to match. ] It just gets worse and worse.

I KNOW

[devoutish]

No, I'm fine.

[He tries to turn; to take Royce's hands in his.]

[bywolves]

[ He holds Alfie's hands in his own, staring down at them. ]

[devoutish]

Look at me. I look all right, don't I.

[You know, besides the bloodshot eyes and the gaunt face.]

[bywolves]

You look half dead. [ Royce says, after looking. It's not like Royce looks any better, gaunt and pale, streaks of grey through his hair. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie smoothes a hand through Royce's hair.]

I look no worse than anyone else.

[bywolves]

[ He tilts his head into the petting. ]

I wish that I could feed you better food.