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[devoutish]

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[devoutish]

I'm so sorry.

[He murmurs, almost too quietly to hear. He leans forward, resting his forehead against the back of Royce's shoulder.]

[bywolves]

I'm sorry, too. [ Royce whispers in return, through his fingers. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to just breathe properly. It takes everything in him to do just that. ]

[devoutish]

I would make it better if I could. I'd do anything.

[bywolves]

I know. Me too. We just can't.

[devoutish]

Is having me next to you any sort of comfort at all?

[bywolves]

It is for me.

[devoutish]

[He nods against Royce's back.]

Okay.

[bywolves]

You don't have to stay with me because of it.

[devoutish]

Royce Melborn, surely you know me better than this by now.

[bywolves]

I know. [ He closes his eyes. ] I'm just tired of disappointing you.

[devoutish]

You think I'm not tired of disappointing you, as well?

[bywolves]

You don't, Alfie. Every time I need you, you're there, offering to carry me across the snow. You don't ever disappoint me.

[devoutish]

You worry me.

[He says quietly.]

That's what it is. Concern.

[bywolves]

I know. I don't want to. Worry you.

[devoutish]

Taking off or telling me to go isn't gonna make that stop. Especially if that anomaly's gonna keep coming after us.

[bywolves]

Staying with you isn't going to make it stop, either. [ His voice is quiet and vaguely pained. ] Staying with you means not only do you worry, but I have to force every part of myself to exist so you don't look at me like you do.

[devoutish]

That sounds like a good thing to me.

[bywolves]

Does it? Does living because I feel too guilty not to sound like a good thing to you? [ He asks, a little ragged. ]

[devoutish]

Living sounds like a good thing.

[bywolves]

[ His breathing is ragged too - he doesn't think he needs to answer this one, because he knows Alfie knows his thoughts on it. He just stays silent. He feels like he's drowning. ]

[devoutish]

Keep hold of my hand.

[Metaphorically, he means, but if Royce reaches back to take ahold of him physically too, he won't pull away.]

Don't let go.

[bywolves]

[ He does physically reach back to hold onto Alfie, face hidden. He's started shivering again, a bit violently, and it comes out in the way that he stutters. ]

I can't go anywhere. I don't have it in me. The sun is gone.

[devoutish]

The sun's hidden. It's not gone entirely.

[bywolves]

There's static where it was.

Probably was never there in the first place.

[devoutish]

I'm talking about the sun in you. That's the only sun I care about.