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[devoutish]

Yeah?

[That's it, that's all you get.]

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[devoutish]

[But Watson, it's fun for him!]

I'll ask him if he needs help. Yeah? Frequently. Remind him that he's a little fish here, just like the rest of us.

What do you think he'll have to say about the gang leader doing supply runs?

[jumpthegun]

[Alfie, why do you do these things? You make his life harder when he admits to being your friend and ally.]

Alfie... [He sighs, exasperated.] Have you got a pathological need to jab the hornet's nest with a stick? You're gonna get stung one of these days for being a git.

I think he'll roll his eyes and dismiss you as a non-issue for him until you make yourself an issue.

[devoutish]

You don't think he'll drive himself up the fucking wall trying to figure out what my horrible, nasty ulterior motive is?

-- You wish I'd just not talk to him at all, is that it?

[jumpthegun]

I wish you'd play nice and not purposefully antagonize people you don't need to. [Well, if this isn't every other argument with Sherlock...] What's telling him you're a gang lord going to do for anything? D'you want to watch his head spin?

[devoutish]

Yeah, I do. It'll be good for him.

[jumpthegun]

[Enjoy your irritated silence, Alfie. John is scowling at his communicator, but he's not actually... saying to stop it. He's fairly certain he's lost this particular battle.]

[devoutish]

I won't say anything too awful, mate. Don't worry.

[jumpthegun]

If he comes after you for being a dick, I'm not stopping him.

[He's absolutely going to try to stop him, but he can pretend.]

[devoutish]

If he comes after me for that, he'll be more of a dangerous criminal than I am here, won't he.

[jumpthegun]

[He hates it when you do the thing of pulling a half-threatening joke to its extreme logical conclusion.]

I dunno. Depends on what he's planning to do. Smack you upside the head? I'd say you've earned that, yeah.

[devoutish]

All right, he's free to do that. That's not gonna bother me much.

[jumpthegun]

Does that mean you're open to the opportunity for others, then? Because I know this doctor bloke...

[devoutish]

[In a faux-hurt tone:]

Now what have I ever done to him? Nothing, surely.

[jumpthegun]

Surely nothing. He's got a bit of a temper when he gets going, though.

[devoutish]

Dislocate my shoulder and break my arm, was it?

[jumpthegun]

Maybe only the dislocation now. Hurts like hell, but that's easy to fix in a few days.

[devoutish]

Would it have been the same arm, or one broken and the other dislocated? I've been wondering.

[jumpthegun]

Same arm. Both would just be cruel. Mind, it would've been your dominant arm.

[devoutish]

Have you been paying enough attention to notice which one that is?

[It's his right.]

[jumpthegun]

You're not terribly subtle about it. D'you know which is mine?

[He's ambidextrous, but strongly favors the left for his everyday tasks.]

[devoutish]

Sure. You're left-handed, but you do all right with the other as well.

[jumpthegun]

Had to learn to be. The Army doesn't like to teach left-handed shooting separately, and the bullet that got me was through the left shoulder. Couldn't use that arm properly for weeks.

[devoutish]

That was when you left?

[jumpthegun]

Yes. Not by choice.

[A surgeon with a shaky hand and a soldier with a limp aren't much good to the Army.]

[devoutish]

I wouldn't think so. I imagine it drove you mad.