IC contact for maskormenace

[devoutish]

You've reached Alfie Solomons. Leave your name and state your business.

Alfie can be reached via the imPort network, or via a home phone and answering machine. He does have a cell phone, but it's not publicly available.

Comments

[trouvaille]

That doesn't end well for them, as I remember my history.

( there's a thoughtful pause. alfie can probably literally see the wheels turning before she even says, )

Well, what do you know, something I can teach you.

[devoutish]

I'm sure it doesn't.

[He says it cheerfully. And then he looks over at her, eyebrows raised. Go on, teach him some Russian curses.]

[trouvaille]

( it's genuinely a little impressive, in that she starts rattling them off and just -

it keeps going, like, for a while. she's got words. she's got phrases. there's a couple that may have been made up but would certainly leave a mark well-delivered. there are the old standards, naturally, your fuck and your cunt and whatnot per translation, but russian is a great language for swearing and gwen has a filthy fucking mouth. )

[devoutish]

[And he just listens, amused. Then he switches back to English:]

Yeah - you know I've got no idea what any of these mean.

[trouvaille]

One of them was cunt and I'm going to introduce these words to your life, slowly and deliberately over time, until you can tell me which one it was.

( that's her favourite curse word, because of course it is, she's in her twenties and she lives in london, there are nightclubs where it's essentially punctuation. )

[devoutish]

I should rightly be punched for getting a young woman to speak like this.

[trouvaille]

I've got one, I'm allowed to say it--

[devoutish]

Mm, yeah, and you're not so much a proper lady, are you.

[trouvaille]

I can't put a pearl necklace on without laughing, for one thing.

( oh we're back to jokes she probably shouldn't tell the old man, are we )

I do a very good impression at parties, you know. I can do all the things, when called upon to do so.

[devoutish]

[He doesn't even get the reference. It's terrible.]

The women at home, they're something in the middle. Half of 'em are gangster women, but--

[trouvaille]

I was sort of that for about five minutes in 2015.


( long story. well; short story. )

[devoutish]

You can't be a gangster woman for five minutes.

[trouvaille]

You can fuck one very briefly, though.

( that's an unkind thing to say about dieter's stamina. )

No, I wasn't, really. But he was, really.

[devoutish]

Yeah. That alone would not make you a gangster woman.

[trouvaille]

( her laugh is quiet. )

I'd make a terrible anything woman.

( she'd probably make a half-decent gangster, though, terrible creature that she is and much sharper than she's prepared to be seen as. )

[devoutish]

What do you do well, then?

[trouvaille]

( momentarily stymied. then; )

Music. Poetry. Identifying someone's weak points and being rude about them. Coordinating and hostessing. I know how to manage money very well, when I actually have any of the bloody -

( that's skirting close to whining about her reduced circumstances; she course-corrects. )

I'm good at some things.

[devoutish]

Do you also enjoy the looks on their faces when you figure out the right weak point?

[aka he loves that shit too, it's great]

[trouvaille]

( it's very telling that she laughs. )

There's a certain degree of satisfaction in putting someone to rights.

[devoutish]

It's fucking fantastic.

[trouvaille]

I think what I enjoy, ( thoughtfully, ) is knowing that I could.

( not necessarily doing it, but sitting in quiet satisfaction with the knowledge that she could, any time she liked, tip someone off their balance. satisfaction in the seeing.

she's always liked to know things. )

[devoutish]

And finding the right moment to do it?

[trouvaille]

You don't want to fire off something prematurely, or - I don't know, waste the opportunity.

And you get the occasional idiot too stupid to be told, which isn't even shooting fish in a barrel, it's shooting a barrel and pretending there were fish in it--

[devoutish]

You might have made a good gangster after all.

[trouvaille]

I'm a terrible liar, that would probably be an issue. Other than that, though.

( pragmatic, amoral and creatively vicious. she'd be good at a lot of things that aren't the life she's supposed to be leading. )