IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

Comments

[devoutish]

He didn't appreciate the one he had.

[bywolves]

[ He swallows a bit hard. Maybe Alfie can feel him do it. ]

I thought I was over what he did. And then little things like this remind me that maybe I'm not. [ He holds Alfie's hand a little more tightly. ] There's so much in me that I don't know how to unravel, Alfie.

[devoutish]

Do you wanna unravel it?

[bywolves]

I think that I should.

[devoutish]

Well. I think it's why you're so worried about something happening to me.

[He feels like he's stating the obvious, but maybe hearing it affirmed out loud will help somehow.]

You've lost enough people, and you still see it as a miracle when you find more to love. You think we're flukes, right; you don't believe you can keep finding people to care about over the course of such a long life.

[bywolves]

[ Hearing it out loud is definitely something that - doesn't help necessarily, but it is something he needs to hear. Royce thinks about it, quiet and curled up. ]

I didn't have anybody for a long time. [ He mumbles. ] And then I had Merrick, and then - I didn't, I very much did not have Merrick, and... [ Deep breath. ] All at once, I had so many people. I had Gwen, and Hadrian. Myron, Arista. [ A beat. ] You. Emily. Tifa.

It's more than I've ever had. It feels like - like flukes.

[devoutish]

Seven people - that's a lot of flukes, mate.

[bywolves]

I know. [ His breath shakes a bit. ] I only know that four of those return the feeling.

And then there are those like - like Arcadius. [ Who shot Gwen. ] I invited him to the wedding. I thought of him as a father, and...

[devoutish]

And he did not deserve those feelings from you.

[bywolves]

[ He swallows hard. ]

He shot Gwen. I told you that, right? That he killed her. I told him that Gwen and I were going to get married, and he killed her.

[devoutish]

Yeah. And you told me why, and he was wrong.

[bywolves]

I know.

[ Silence. ] I know.

[devoutish]

Do you?

[bywolves]

Rationally, I know. [ Royce mutters, with a sigh. ]

[devoutish]

You've told Gwen about this, yeah?

[bywolves]

[ ... fffffffffffffffff ]

What part?

[devoutish]

Arcadius. What he did and why.

[bywolves]

No. [ Shift, shift. ] I didn't. I haven't.

[devoutish]

[Alfie angles his head downwards a little more, trying to get a look at his face.]

Does she know that she died?

[bywolves]

[ He looks a little upset. ]

Yeah. She knows. But she doesn't know how it happened. [ A beat. ] She came from another place like we did. She won't talk about it, but. She said she remembers dying, and waking up in that place.

[devoutish]

Do you not want to tell her because you don't want to upset her more, then?

[bywolves]

It hasn't come up. And I don't want to upset her.

[devoutish]

[Royce, that's a hell of a big thing to just "not come up", but okay.]

I think it's something she could reassure you about, as well.

[bywolves]

[ He basically said "I don't know" and then just never brought it up again and avoided it. ]

I don't want her to have to reassure me about her death. Same way I don't want you to have to reassure me about yours. It's selfish. I keep telling myself I'm not going to be selfish.

[devoutish]

It's not the death she'd be reassuring you about, it's the reasons behind it.