IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

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[bywolves]

[ He's not so sure that anything got resolved, is the thing, and so he's confused and unsure on that front. But he's too exhausted to keep trying, so he just shuts off his emotion sharing for now and just hums, low. Okay. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie's shoulders drop into a slump, but he stays where he is, swaying a little as he holds on.]

[bywolves]

[ He stays quiet for a while, just trying to think. Sort through it. And eventually he pulls away, and turns to climb up onto the rock again. This time, though, he turns back to reach for Alfie, to pull him up. Please come sit up here with him. ]

[devoutish]

Can't believe you like sitting on rocks.

[Alfie grumbles, but not really seriously; he follows him up easily enough. Once he's settled uncomfortably next to him, scooted up close again, he says:]

Please tell me what you're thinking?

[bywolves]

[ It's better than getting sand in his pants, honestly. Royce is quiet for just a few moments, staring out at the waves. The sound is comforting. ]

When we argue, you act like a businessman starting a negotiation. Do you know that?

[devoutish]

Yeah, you said that before. I suppose I don't know how else to argue.

[bywolves]

It makes you sound dismissive and condescending. I know that, and yet. Every time we argue, it makes me angry. Every time.

And a while ago, when you told me to sort it out, I decided I was going to bite that anger back and try to respond to you like I didn't feel like I was being talked down to, and it worked, for a while. But tonight, I let myself get angry.

[devoutish]

When I told you to sort what out?

[bywolves]

Myself. My feelings. My -- I don't know, the reflex to assume every conversation is going to end badly.

[devoutish]

Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I was angry when I said that. Yes.

[He still thinks he right about it, but he definitely hadn't phrased it very nicely.]

But-- Royce.

[bywolves]

[ He glances at Alfie, expression questioning. ]

[devoutish]

[His eyes flick downward for a second, but then he meets Royce's gaze.]

I have never looked down on you. Not for one moment.

[bywolves]

I know. [ Royce says, watching him. ] I know that. I know that you think of me as your equal, Alfie.

[devoutish]

I do.

[He leans their foreheads together, closing his eyes.]

Is it-- does it help to hear me say how much I respect you, or would it help more to feel it?

[bywolves]

I know how much you do, Alfie, it's not about that. If you want to show me, I won't say no.

[devoutish]

[Hey, he won't turn down that opportunity. Have some feelings of stark admiration, Royce - for his accomplishments, his mind, his physical strength, and also for some more minor things like his wit, too. Alfie really appreciates how well they bounce off each other when they're goofing off - not to mention when they're teaming up against someone like House.]

[bywolves]

[ It feels - nice. It's a boost, and he takes it, but he won't turn on his emotions in return, not right now. Not yet. He rubs at his chest, swallowing hard - rubs at where, if Alfie was paying particular attention, that ball of negativity was lurking. ]

I know. [ Royce says, quietly. ] I knew all of this. But - thank you.

[devoutish]

Yeah. But you still feel I'm condescending towards you?

[bywolves]

It's because you sound that way. You can respect me like that, and still sound like you're dismissing me.

I've brought this up before. When I say "You do this," you reply with "But not always." [ Massage, massage. ] Right now. I'm upset with you because I wanted to offer you some sort of comfort when I felt your worry. You pushed me away. And when I told you that's what you always tell me not to do, you blew me off.

[ His voice is raw and honest and - vaguely embarrassed, now: ] Most times, Alfie, I just want you to understand what you did to upset me and apologize. That's all.

[devoutish]

I am sorry.

[He puts his hand over Royce's - not trying to stop the movement, but resting his fingers along the back of it.]

But I want you to understand why I did it.

[bywolves]

[ The sorry loosens something in him, and he does stop the movement of his hand, staring down at their hands together. ]

Understand why you did what?

[devoutish]

Why I told you I didn't want you to worry, and why I told you that I felt it was different from the times you've shut down. The stuff I explained before.

[bywolves]

It's not different, to me.

[devoutish]

It's less different now that I know how you feel about things - with Gwen, and all. The differences felt bigger when I thought the most important thing was making it so you didn't feel I wanted to come between you and your wife.

[bywolves]

I don't think you want to come between me and Gwen. Never have. [ A beat. ] Don't call her my wife. We're not married. Not yet.

[ It just feels dishonest, in this moment, and the word itself lends distance. You and your wife puts a yawning chasm in between him and Alfie and Royce doesn't want that. ]