IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

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[bywolves]

Mm. [ Royce hums, still burrowed. ] Yeah.

[devoutish]

You remember the conversation I had with your Shadow, about me telling you to sort thing out?

[bywolves]

Mm. Sort of. I remember it distantly. Why?

[devoutish]

It seems like an important thing to make not so distant. I had no idea that you felt-- that you thought I ever meant for you to sort things out quietly, or on your own.

[bywolves]

[ He shifts, waking up more fully. ]

Thinking about it now, I can see that's not what you meant, but... at the time, it - we'd just finished fighting. [ Sigh. ] And I always feel as though I take too much to begin with.

[devoutish]

[Just as quietly:]

Mate, I don't think you've ever had a clear understanding of how much you give.

[bywolves]

[ He's glad his face is still hidden. ]

Maybe not. [ He sighs out slow. ] But that doesn't stop me from remembering every time you've picked me up after I fell apart, and how little I do that for you.

I think I can count on one hand how many times I've seen you break down. Half of those times were in Norfinbury.

[devoutish]

Maybe part of the reason I don't break down is because I've got you by my side every day.

[bywolves]

[ He frowns a little. ]

Maybe. [ He sounds hesitant, though. ] Or maybe you're just more stable.

[devoutish]

Not maybe, Royce. You definitely help me, every day, in keeping my head together.

[bywolves]

[ He breathes out slow. ]

Then there must be something wrong with me, seeing as I can't usually keep mine.

[devoutish]

You keep it together nine times out of ten, don't you?

[bywolves]

Sure. [ It's just that one time that gets him. ]

[devoutish]

Then that's not "usually", is it.

[bywolves]

I'd like to not have it happen at all.

[devoutish]

This goes back to that bit about you being too hard on yourself.

[bywolves]

[ Another sigh. ]

It never used to be this way. I know now it's just - who I've become, what I've been shaped into. I just wonder if I should be stronger.

[devoutish]

But we've talked about this, yeah? It was different before because you never let yourself feel anything.

[bywolves]

I know. I know that's why.

[ He makes a vaguely frustrated sound. ] What Monty said to me really bothered me, I suppose. I can't shake it.

[devoutish]

[Which Alfie knows he can only help with so much. He tucks Royce closer to him, petting his hair.]

[bywolves]

I need to speak with him. [ He leans into the hand in his hair. ] Both him and Renart.

[devoutish]

Yeah.

I do believe you'll be all right, mate.

[bywolves]

I'm already doing much better than I was. [ In fact, here: Royce lets Alfie feel that knot of anxiety and dread, the one that had been so gnarled and full of thorns that it'd been hard to breathe. It's much, much less, just a small, easily managed ache, something that he's not sure he'll ever be entirely free of. It's worries and hopes and fears, but it's - softer. Feels less like he's dying. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie exhales, relieved, and rests a hand over Royce's heart. Okay. Good.]

[bywolves]

[ Royce rests his own hand over Alfie's, and settles back down. ]