devoutish | IC contact for wethelost

[ Royce glances up at him, maybe a little surprised at the insistence, but he goes willingly, stepping out of the boat. He takes Alfie's hand and arm, watching him with a bit of an apprehensive look. Not because of what Alfie's going to say, just. In general. ]

[He just wants to put an arm around him, if Royce will let him, pulling him close and just holding on for a moment.]

[ He allows it - sinks into it, even. He rests his head on Alfie's shoulder and takes a deep breath. ]

If you don't want to today, I'd understand.

We'll do it whenever you're ready. If that's today, then we'll go.

I'm ready. [ As he'll ever be. He turns into the arm, and actually full-on hugs Alfie, burying his face against Alfie's chest. ] Thank you.

Yeah.

[Alfie threads his fingers through Royce's hair. He'll stand there for a moment, just holding him, but eventually, he'll pull back and look over towards the boat again. The sea is calm and glassy. Royce has picked a good day to go.]

[ Royce enjoys being held and comforted like this, these days. It's nice to let Alfie just do this for him. He reaches for Alfie's hand when Alfie pulls away, and leads him to the boat. Carefully, he pushes them out from the shore, all their stuff packed carefully into the boat where it won't get wet, and they're off. ]

What else did you bring?

[Alfie asks, giving the supplies a quick glance. He'd seen the folded-up air mattress, but hadn't had much of a chance to look over everything else, and now he's focusing on sailing.]

Food, blankets. The mattress. Like the last time we came out here.

[ He adjusts the sails. ] Brought a tent, too. Just in case it's too much to get home.

Are you worried about that?

A little.

It was - it was bad. It was really bad, after. It's just a memory now but I can't promise... [ He glances up at Alfie. ] I was going to kill myself, Alfie. After.

[Quietly:]

Are you sure you want to be doing this?

Yes. [ He says, firmer now. ] I don't think I'll be that far gone. It's a memory. I have her now, and I have you. But I need to prepare for every possibility. And if remembering this so clearly means that I can't manage to sail home, I want to have options for resting.

[Alfie tears his eyes away from the way ahead just long enough to look back at Royce, giving him a nod.]

All right. I trust you.

[And then he turns his attention forward again. The seas are a little rougher, than usual - the wind is picking up.]

[ Royce gives Alfie a bit of reassurance, and a bit of gratitude. That trust is important. As for the wind - Royce is slightly concerned, but he's been in enough boats to be able to weather it fine. He'll help with steadying their course.

Still, he wobbles slightly, holding onto the side of the boat. Ugh. ]

Sit down, if you like.

[Alfie says, without turning to look at him. He'd seen that little wobble out of the corner of his eye, and he knows what it means.]

[ Royce sits down almost immediately, gripping at the side of the boat with white knuckles, now. ]

If you need help, tell me. [ Royce says sternly, even though his stomach protests. ]

We can still turn around.

[Alfie reminds him, sparing a look at both Royce and the retreating shoreline. They're not that far away from it.]

No, it's fine, keep going. [ Stubborn. ] It's not that bad.

[Alfie frowns, picturing Royce's white-knuckled hand clutching at the side of the boat - but he's right. It's just a bit of wind.

Unfortunately, after another half-hour or so, it'll be a good deal more than that. It's no storm - there's no rain, or thunder - but the wind is kicking up quite a fuss, and the waves are tossing them around so much that even Alfie is starting to feel queasy.]

We could turn back now!

[He calls, again - though at this point, pushing on almost seems like the more sensible option. Surely they're more than halfway there by now.]

[ More than halfway means it'd be ridiculous to turn around. Royce is not going to ask Alfie to turn around - it'd be better to just keep going and get to the island. But after a half-hour of the rocking, unsteady waves, Royce is utterly miserable. He's sunk down to the very bottom of the boat, head hanging, hands laced and resting against the back of his neck, elbows on his knees.

And see, he's going to try and lift his head to tell Alfie to keep going, but just that little bit of movement has his stomach lurch pretty violently - which means Alfie gets to hear Royce scramble to the side of the boat to vomit over the side of it as an answer. Sorry, buddy. ]

[Alfie winces; poor guy. He waffles, but only for a moment; without Royce's input, he just decides to keep pushing forward.

When Royce hauls himself back into the boat, Alfie reaches a hand back for him.]

[ Royce groans, low, taking Alfie's hand. He brushes his mouth with the other, and then carefully curls up in a ball on the floor of the boat. He's dizzy as hell, and he's not sure if it's the cold sweat or the spray of the waves that has the back of his shirt drenched. Probably both. ]

[Steering the boat one-handed is decidedly more difficult, but unless Royce lets go, Alfie doesn't pull his hand away. You can do it, buddy; he's got you.]

[ He lets go after a couple of minutes, not wanting to distract Alfie from sailing the ship. He's very quiet after that initial groan, and very still, too. If he opens his eyes or moves, his whole world spins, so he just - doesn't. He'll stay like that until they hit land. ]

IC contact for wethelost

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cw: suicide mention

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