IC contact for maskormenace

[devoutish]

You've reached Alfie Solomons. Leave your name and state your business.

Alfie can be reached via the imPort network, or via a home phone and answering machine. He does have a cell phone, but it's not publicly available.

Comments

[trouvaille]

Never go to war with Russia in the winter, that's what they say, which is good advice. I wore a lot of fur, there's stupid photographs.

( she was very small, you can just see the hands and the face. )

[devoutish]

Do you know men who have gone to war in Russia in the winter?

[trouvaille]

No one's done it recently. I think most of the people who died the last time it happened were Russians.

( someone crosses ahead of them; gwen is briefly engaged in trying to untangle herself when putin tries to move in front of her again and tangles the lead. )

I don't know people who've gone to war. Or, not war that looks like that.

[devoutish]

[Alfie pauses to let her take care of things, rather than walking on ahead of her.]

I had family who fought against the big man in Russia, back when there was a big man. But I never met them.

[trouvaille]

( she briefly tries to work out the timeline on that-- )

The last Tsar? The Romanovs are Russian Orthodox martyrs now, I heard.

( it's moderately surreal to realise, properly, that she's still talking to someone for whom that's rather more recent history and has never yet been made into a cartoon by don bluth. )

My godmother's family is Russian. Some of it. I used to listen to her talking t her friends on the phone to learn all the good words.

[devoutish]

Half the Romanovs are on the run, in my time.

[He sounds completely satisfied about this.]

I can't curse in the language at all. I heard it from my mother only.

[trouvaille]

That doesn't end well for them, as I remember my history.

( there's a thoughtful pause. alfie can probably literally see the wheels turning before she even says, )

Well, what do you know, something I can teach you.

[devoutish]

I'm sure it doesn't.

[He says it cheerfully. And then he looks over at her, eyebrows raised. Go on, teach him some Russian curses.]

[trouvaille]

( it's genuinely a little impressive, in that she starts rattling them off and just -

it keeps going, like, for a while. she's got words. she's got phrases. there's a couple that may have been made up but would certainly leave a mark well-delivered. there are the old standards, naturally, your fuck and your cunt and whatnot per translation, but russian is a great language for swearing and gwen has a filthy fucking mouth. )

[devoutish]

[And he just listens, amused. Then he switches back to English:]

Yeah - you know I've got no idea what any of these mean.

[trouvaille]

One of them was cunt and I'm going to introduce these words to your life, slowly and deliberately over time, until you can tell me which one it was.

( that's her favourite curse word, because of course it is, she's in her twenties and she lives in london, there are nightclubs where it's essentially punctuation. )

[devoutish]

I should rightly be punched for getting a young woman to speak like this.

[trouvaille]

I've got one, I'm allowed to say it--

[devoutish]

Mm, yeah, and you're not so much a proper lady, are you.

[trouvaille]

I can't put a pearl necklace on without laughing, for one thing.

( oh we're back to jokes she probably shouldn't tell the old man, are we )

I do a very good impression at parties, you know. I can do all the things, when called upon to do so.

[devoutish]

[He doesn't even get the reference. It's terrible.]

The women at home, they're something in the middle. Half of 'em are gangster women, but--

[trouvaille]

I was sort of that for about five minutes in 2015.


( long story. well; short story. )

[devoutish]

You can't be a gangster woman for five minutes.

[trouvaille]

You can fuck one very briefly, though.

( that's an unkind thing to say about dieter's stamina. )

No, I wasn't, really. But he was, really.

[devoutish]

Yeah. That alone would not make you a gangster woman.

[trouvaille]

( her laugh is quiet. )

I'd make a terrible anything woman.

( she'd probably make a half-decent gangster, though, terrible creature that she is and much sharper than she's prepared to be seen as. )

[devoutish]

What do you do well, then?

[trouvaille]

( momentarily stymied. then; )

Music. Poetry. Identifying someone's weak points and being rude about them. Coordinating and hostessing. I know how to manage money very well, when I actually have any of the bloody -

( that's skirting close to whining about her reduced circumstances; she course-corrects. )

I'm good at some things.

[devoutish]

Do you also enjoy the looks on their faces when you figure out the right weak point?

[aka he loves that shit too, it's great]

[trouvaille]

( it's very telling that she laughs. )

There's a certain degree of satisfaction in putting someone to rights.