IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

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[devoutish]

Yeah.

[Pause.]

Will you tell me something?

[bywolves]

Of course.

[devoutish]

How often do you think about Timeless?

[bywolves]

[ Quiet, then: ]

Often enough that it bothers me enough to drink myself into a stupor, I suppose.

[devoutish]

[Thought so.]

Have you talked about it enough that you don't want to talk about it more?

[bywolves]

I don't know what else to talk about. [ Royce murmurs. ] I shouldn't have gone in again, after the first time.

There was so much that hurt when I was a child that I didn't want to remember.

[devoutish]

He broke my heart, that little boy.

[bywolves]

[ Long, drawn out sigh. ]

He's still in me.

[devoutish]

[Alfie wiggles his hand around until it's in a position where he can press his palm into Royce's chest.]

Then you still break my heart.

[bywolves]

[ Royce carefully rests his own on top of Alfie's, pushing his hand up a bit so it rests on the ring necklace Royce always is wearing. ]

You know - I thought. [ Royce starts, and then he tries again. ] I would've asked you to adopt me, I think. If I hadn't remembered I was an adult.

[devoutish]

I would've done it instantly.

[bywolves]

Yeah. I know. [ A beat. ] I knew you were family even then. I wanted one.

I think that's what I was looking for in Merrick, too.

[devoutish]

He didn't appreciate the one he had.

[bywolves]

[ He swallows a bit hard. Maybe Alfie can feel him do it. ]

I thought I was over what he did. And then little things like this remind me that maybe I'm not. [ He holds Alfie's hand a little more tightly. ] There's so much in me that I don't know how to unravel, Alfie.

[devoutish]

Do you wanna unravel it?

[bywolves]

I think that I should.

[devoutish]

Well. I think it's why you're so worried about something happening to me.

[He feels like he's stating the obvious, but maybe hearing it affirmed out loud will help somehow.]

You've lost enough people, and you still see it as a miracle when you find more to love. You think we're flukes, right; you don't believe you can keep finding people to care about over the course of such a long life.

[bywolves]

[ Hearing it out loud is definitely something that - doesn't help necessarily, but it is something he needs to hear. Royce thinks about it, quiet and curled up. ]

I didn't have anybody for a long time. [ He mumbles. ] And then I had Merrick, and then - I didn't, I very much did not have Merrick, and... [ Deep breath. ] All at once, I had so many people. I had Gwen, and Hadrian. Myron, Arista. [ A beat. ] You. Emily. Tifa.

It's more than I've ever had. It feels like - like flukes.

[devoutish]

Seven people - that's a lot of flukes, mate.

[bywolves]

I know. [ His breath shakes a bit. ] I only know that four of those return the feeling.

And then there are those like - like Arcadius. [ Who shot Gwen. ] I invited him to the wedding. I thought of him as a father, and...

[devoutish]

And he did not deserve those feelings from you.

[bywolves]

[ He swallows hard. ]

He shot Gwen. I told you that, right? That he killed her. I told him that Gwen and I were going to get married, and he killed her.

[devoutish]

Yeah. And you told me why, and he was wrong.

[bywolves]

I know.

[ Silence. ] I know.

[devoutish]

Do you?