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[devoutish]

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[devoutish]

[Royce hasn't turned a page in about ten minutes. Alfie's been watching, because of course he has; he's been watching Royce a lot lately. He's not sure whether this is regular-flavor depression or the MN variety - but honestly, does it really matter? The end result is, he's pretty sure, the same.

At the fifteen-minute mark, he scoots himself closer to Royce, bumping their shoulders lightly. He doesn't say anything. He's pretty sure he doesn't need to.]

[bywolves]

[ It's a good mix of both, which - at least makes it easier to exist without being bored. He can stare at a wall for hours and time passes quickly. At least there's that. When Alfie nudges him, Royce startles slightly, glancing up at Alfie in an almost confused sort of way. What? What. Oh.

He looks back down at his book, but carefully rests his head on Alfie's shoulder. Hi. He's here. ]

[devoutish]

Tell me about the book.

[He says quietly.]

Is it the one with the man who works at the pub and falls in love with his friend?

[bywolves]

Mmhm. [ Royce agrees, listless. ] This is the car crash part. It's. Hard to get past it sometimes. Even if I know what happens.

[devoutish]

They live happily ever after.

[Alfie murmurs, closing his eyes.]

[bywolves]

Mostly. [ He stares at the book, running his fingers over the pages. ] Even mostly is a miracle.

[devoutish]

Well, it's a book. We can cross out the car crash bits, also.

[bywolves]

[ A pause, and he reaches to skip forward a few pages. Soft: ]

"When Matt woke next, things were blurry, but it didn't matter, much. The fact that his vision was impaired paled in comparison to the incredible amount of relief he felt at the sight before him. There he was. His best friend, waiting in the chair next to Matt's hospital bed, fast asleep. Matt smiled, the warmth of his happiness at seeing his friend making the pain not quite so bad."

[ Royce reads, voice hoarse. ]

[devoutish]

Amazing that they took so long to admit to their feelings for each other.

[Alfie mutters.]

[bywolves]

They were scared. [ Royce says, dead weight against Alfie's side. He sounds sort of distant. ] They were always scared of what would happen.

[devoutish]

Yes, well, the car crash thing, that wouldn't've happened if Matt had accepted Trevor's offer of a ride home.

[bywolves]

Or they would've both crashed. Maybe Trevor would have died if he'd been in the same car.

[devoutish]

Nah. The driver wouldn't've been as distracted by doubts and bad thoughts.

[bywolves]

[ Relentless optimism, here. Royce traces the same few words over and over with his fingers, falling silent. Making the pain not quite so bad, over and over. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie glances at his face, then down at his hand. He nudges his chin into Royce's cheek.]

What would do it for you?

[bywolves]

Death. [ It's mild, the way he says it. ] An end.

[devoutish]

[Alfie's fingers curl into his palm, nails biting.]

Besides death.

[bywolves]

You do it for me. You are here, and that makes it easier.

[devoutish]

Yeah. Yeah, but am I really enough, mate?

[bywolves]

Nothing is. [ He lets go of the book to take Alfie's hand. ] I told you my first answer and you didn't like it. You're my second answer. It's good enough to stop me from feeding myself to anomalies.

[devoutish]

It isn't that--

[He stops. He'd been about to say It isn't that I didn't like the first answer - but that's not true; he hadn't liked it. Just not, he thinks, in the way that Royce had meant.]

[bywolves]

[ Royce pauses. ]

What?

[devoutish]

I liked that you were honest.

[bywolves]

Oh. [ A pause. ] There really isn't any reason to lie. I don't want to upset you, but.

[devoutish]

I don't want you worrying about upsetting me.