IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

Comments

[devoutish]

How? How am I being an asshole, Royce?

[Now there's a little frustration bleeding in.]

I'm standing here as you rail at me, trying to share my feelings and make my point of view understood-- what would be preferable to you?

[bywolves]

Not right now. Before. In the treehouse. I asked you what was wrong, and you shut me down. You talk to me like this is a deal, like we're negotiating business.

[ In Alfie's accent: ] You felt me get upset, but you're not going to do anything about it, okay? End of story, don't ask. I don't want you getting overly concerned about my feelings, despite the fact that we're friends.

[ And then, normal again: ] You don't want me to worry about it, but I already am worried about it, and I'd hoped we could figure it out together instead of you shutting me out. Isn't that what you're always getting on me about?

[devoutish]

It feels, to me, like a different sort of situation.

[Because Royce is married, because it's related to Gwen, because it seems brutally selfish, unfair, and - yes - pathetic to ask Royce to help him figure out where he stands in his relationship with him and his wife.]

[bywolves]

It isn't. [ Royce says, voice breaking again. ] I worry about it too. About what will change.

[devoutish]

You worry that she won't understand.

[He repeats.]

Yeah.

[bywolves]

I don't think you understand how important you are to me.

[devoutish]

[Alfie raises an eyebrow.]

I've felt it, remember? You showed me.

[bywolves]

Then I don't understand why you'd think this was just a problem for you and only you to deal with. It's not a matter of figuring out how you fit, it's a matter of figuring out how to reincorporate her into my life.

[devoutish]

[That assessment of the situation has Alfie gobsmacked - stunned into silence, even, as he looks back at Royce.]

[bywolves]

[ Royce sinks back down to sit, heavily. ]

So much has changed since I saw her last. I'm a different person. It can't be the same because I am not who I was when she died. But you've been with me since I changed - you've been a big part of why I have. I know I have you. I don't know that I have her.

[devoutish]

[That has Alfie reaching for his hand again, if he'll take it.]

I've seen how she talks about you - how you talk about each other. You might have doubts, mate, but I don't. You'll have her for life.

[bywolves]

[ He does take it. He holds it tightly. ]

That doesn't change the fact that I will have a hard time bringing her into my life here.

[devoutish]

I didn't know you felt that way.

[Alfie squeezes his hand.]

I had no idea.

[bywolves]

I don't talk about it. It isn't how I'm supposed to feel.

[devoutish]

[Alfie chuckles humorlessly.]

Yes. Yes, I know how that feels.

[bywolves]

I don't know how she's going to fit. [ Royce says, quietly. ] I love her. But thinking of the change that'll have to happen, that I'm expected to have happen - I don't want to.

[devoutish]

Are any of them changes that she might consent not to make?

[bywolves]

I don't know. [ He stares down at the ground. ] I don't know what she'll say. I want to stay in the same bed as you, but I don't know that she'd be pleased to hear it.

There are some things, sure, but either way, someone is going to end up unhappy, and they'll swallow it be cause they don't want to be a burden.

[devoutish]

[It's time for another look of naked surprise.]

You do?

[bywolves]

Yeah. But I'd want her too, I think, and like I said. Neither of you would be happy with that.

[devoutish]

D'you mean all in one bed, or two separate beds that you'd pass back and forth between?

[bywolves]

Either would work for me.

[devoutish]

[Alfie gives his hand a little tug. C'mere.]

[bywolves]

[ He slides down the rock a bit to move closer, looking unsure. ]

[devoutish]

[He keeps tugging, like he's reeling Royce in.]