IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

Comments

[devoutish]

Royce. It won't be like it has been; you know that, yeah?

[bywolves]

[ There's a flash of fright that he smothers. ]

Don't talk to me like I'm a child. Of course it won't be, but I want it to be as close as possible, and I don't see why you're insisting that everything needs to change.

[devoutish]

I never said everything. But many things, yes.

[bywolves]

[ Off go his emotions again. ]

I'm not talking to you until you stop being condescending.

[devoutish]

I'm fucking not.

[bywolves]

[ He stares out at the ocean, pointedly, expression pissed. ]

[devoutish]

Royce, for fuck's sake.

[He really just wants to pace, but pacing in loose beachside sand is hard.]

[bywolves]

I'm not stupid.

[ He says, finally, voice flat and steady. ]

I know things are going to change when she gets here. But I'm done talking about this if you're going to continue to talk to me like I'm not aware that life will be different and then shut me out and down completely when I try to talk to you about it.

[devoutish]

It's difficult to talk about. Even with you. Because I've told myself, right - "Alfie, you are not gonna be the sort of man who swans about sighing over things that can't be helped; shouldn't be helped". I've told myself that this--

[He makes a back-and-forth gesture between the two of them.]

-- wasn't gonna happen at all.

[bywolves]

I don't know what to say to you that isn't going to get me yelled at. [ Royce says pissily. He's not being as mature about this as he could be, but his feelings are still hurt. ]

[devoutish]

I haven't raised my voice once, thank you.

[bywolves]

Alfie. [ Royce snaps nastily. You know what he means. He's not having it today. ]

[devoutish]

[It matters, Royce.]

Don't accuse me of things I haven't done. I've been civil; I haven't told you to shut it.

[bywolves]

Why do you always do this? [ Royce asks, frustrated. ] You always do this. You always pick at my word choice rather than actually talk about the issue at hand.

Fine. Live somewhere else. Is that what you want? Do you want to just give it up as a lost cause? It'll be different so we shouldn't even try, clearly. We'll plan on getting you another house once she gets here.

[devoutish]

Do you not worry about awkwardness and such? Truly?

[He means this as a genuine question - tries to level his voice out, so Royce won't take it as instigating.]

[bywolves]

I do worry. [ The deliberate tone helps. ]

[devoutish]

Yeah?

[He raises an eyebrow. He's surprised, but not skeptical; he believes Royce.]

[bywolves]

Yeah. Of course I do. But I don't think it's going to be as much of a big deal as you're thinking. And I'm going to try to make it easy.

[devoutish]

And perhaps I don't think it's gonna be as big of a deal as you worry I do. Eh? It wasn't something I was ever planning on bringing up.

[bywolves]

[ He frowns, pulling his knees in. ] That is a big thing to worry about and a big thing to hide from me.

[devoutish]

And if it's small worries only? Does your position there still stand?

[bywolves]

[ Royce sighs, and turns his head to look back out at the ocean. ]

I'm not going to fight and argue in circles with you. I don't have the energy.

[devoutish]

This is one reason why I wasn't going to tell you, Royce. We always fret about each other more than we fret about ourselves.

Will you tell me what your worries are? Specifically. It would do me good to hear them.

[bywolves]

[ He's quiet for a long moment, resting his chin on top of his knees, staring out into the distance. ]

I worry that Gwen might not understand the extent of what you mean to me. I worry she may be jealous. I worry Mercy will hate it here. I worry that things will change for the worse.

And then -- I also worry that none of that will be the case, but you'll convince yourself that you need to distance yourself because you have a very different idea of what you think my family life should look like than I do. That only your way is the correct way.

[devoutish]

I don't want to impose my views on you - to try to force you to live how I think is best.

[He says quietly.]

But I don't think I much understand what you say you want.