IC contact for wethelost

[devoutish]

Solomons & Melborn
1108 Sweet Cream Street

[Feel free to use this space for letter/package deliveries as well as visits/knocks on the front door!]

Comments

[bywolves]

[ There's so much going on in his head, lately. So much that he can't put into words, can't tell Gwen, can't write out. She knows he's upset, lately, but she doesn't know the extent. He doesn't know how to tell her what he's worried about isn't something she can necessarily fix. So he doesn't tell her. And he feels it starting to rot in his chest, making him feel heavy and sad.

One night, he doesn't sleep very well, and when he wakes up, he's cranky and irritable, cloak on indoors, hood up, short and rude when anybody talks to him. He leaves the house in the morning so he doesn't take out the sleep deprivation on Alfie and Emily, and goes to the cliffs around the beach, and just - climbs. He wears himself out.

When he comes back home, he collapses into his favorite chair, and closes his eyes, intending to nap until Alfie comes back around. ]

[devoutish]

[Alfie also spends much of the day out of the house - visiting with people, maybe dropping in on Meulin, maybe taking Emily to the beach. He comes back in the early evening, planning to scrounge up leftovers for dinner, but when he spots Royce in the living room he's waylaid.]

Haven't seen you all day.

[He comments, hanging his hat up on the rack by the door. It's not unheard of for them to spend the entire day separately, but it is sort of unusual.]

[bywolves]

Went hiking. [ Royce says, tilting his head back to catch sight of Alfie. He sounds tired. ] Needed to sort my head out. Where have you been today?

[devoutish]

I was by the lake for a bit. Sketching.

[He's been doing that lately. It had started with drawing pictures for Emily to color, planning to put together a coloring book for her, but then he'd started to branch out.]

[bywolves]

[ Royce smiles a little, absently. That's cute. ]

Anything turn out good?

[devoutish]

Oh, it's all right, I suppose. Can't get the trees right. I can show you.

[bywolves]

[ Royce shifts in his chair enough to make room for Alfie to come sit, if he wants. He also gestures for Alfie to move to him. Royce can't draw worth a damn, so he won't be much help, but. ]

[devoutish]

[The sketchbook is surprisingly full, considering he's only had it for about a month. He opens it up to a page with a lake scene on it and settles down in the chair next to Royce. It's not bad, but he's right about the more close-up trees being a little wobbly-looking, and he clearly struggles a bit with getting the perspective right.]

You've got something on your mind.

[It's a statement, not a question, but it's a gentle one.]

[bywolves]

[ Royce reaches to trace his fingers over the sketch. It's not terrible, but he definitely can see it doesn't look quite right. He couldn't tell Alfie what's wrong or how to fix it, though. That seems to be a general trend. ]

I always do, these days. [ He says, after a moment. He keeps his eyes on the sketch, voice soft. ] I feel heavy, as usual. Hard to explain.

[devoutish]

[He nuzzles his nose lightly into Royce's cheek.]

Can you try?

[bywolves]

I have tried, in the past. [ He sighs, closing his eyes. ] I need - I need you to just be able to feel it, because I don't have words for it.

[devoutish]

Do you want me to?

[They haven't done it yet, and haven't even really talked about it, but that option is there for them now, thanks to their recent wish to Zephyr.]

[bywolves]

[ He takes a deep breath, and then, uncertain: ] Yes, but I'm nervous.

[devoutish]

About?

[bywolves]

Being - being that close.

[devoutish]

Mm.

I suppose it wouldn't help if I went first, then.

[bywolves]

[ He hesitates. ]

You mean you let me feel what you're feeling first?

[devoutish]

Yeah.

[But it'd still be the same level of closeness, even if the focus would be different.]

[bywolves]

[ Yeah, but - there's a little bit of distance, there. He shifts slightly, and then shakes his head. ]

If I feel what you're feeling first, you won't be able to feel - this. [ He puts a hand on his chest, rubbing at his sternum a little. ] It'll throw everything off. I just have to do it.

[devoutish]

You don't have to.

[Alfie squeezes his shoulder.]

You can, and I will gladly accept it, mate, but you do not have to. Eh?

[bywolves]

[ He nods, and then glances at Alfie. ]

I want to. It just makes me nervous to - to offer so much up. It's intense. And I doubt you'll think differently of me. I know that logically. It's just very... big.

I don't want you to think I'm forcing myself.

[devoutish]

If you promise me that you're not, then I'll trust you.

[bywolves]

I promise. [ It's genuine. Alfie's known him long enough to know. ]

[devoutish]

Okay.

[He sets his sketchbook aside, leaning his shoulder into Royce's.]

You wanna talk about it more first?

[bywolves]

[ He thinks about it for a moment, and then reaches to take Alfie's hand. ]

Do you?